Missing you... wish you would talk to me...
Wondering if I did or said something wrong...
Wishing I could see...
You... those eyes... burning so long
Your touch... burning
Every thought ... turning... to you
Can't focus without knowing
If you're OK
Can't focus without knowing
If we're OK
Talk to me please
Let me know
Put me at ease
Let me know
Friday, February 10, 2012
The Past Comes Back ... Hauntingly
Amazing how even after 20+ years the past sometimes just won't let go.
You were in my life then and stayed in my heart all this time. I've loved you, worried about you, cried with you and about you.
You've scared me and scarred me. You've loved me and hated me, leaned on me and depended on me.
And then earlier this week you were physically with me. The feelings came rushing back for me and hopefully for you. All of them - the love, the fear, the pain, the comfort. The things you told me made me soar and sink - sometimes at the same time.
You're complex and that's why I loved you then and love you now. I'm still scared. Scared for you, scared for what could happen.
You've been through so much and you've survived. You should be proud and deep down I think you are. I thank God you are still with us because I don't know what I would do.
My only wish is that we were closer in distance but I know that our hearts are somewhere close.
You're one in a million and so many things remind me of you. Songs I hear, things I read, memories of the store we worked at. You inspire me to be better and I hope to God that our seeing each other did some good for you too - that it let you know that you are loved and that I will always do my best to be there for you if you need. I think your mom smiled down on us from Heaven that day knowing that you were safe - at least for a little while.
Be strong, be you and I hope to see you again later this year!!
You were in my life then and stayed in my heart all this time. I've loved you, worried about you, cried with you and about you.
You've scared me and scarred me. You've loved me and hated me, leaned on me and depended on me.
And then earlier this week you were physically with me. The feelings came rushing back for me and hopefully for you. All of them - the love, the fear, the pain, the comfort. The things you told me made me soar and sink - sometimes at the same time.
You're complex and that's why I loved you then and love you now. I'm still scared. Scared for you, scared for what could happen.
You've been through so much and you've survived. You should be proud and deep down I think you are. I thank God you are still with us because I don't know what I would do.
My only wish is that we were closer in distance but I know that our hearts are somewhere close.
You're one in a million and so many things remind me of you. Songs I hear, things I read, memories of the store we worked at. You inspire me to be better and I hope to God that our seeing each other did some good for you too - that it let you know that you are loved and that I will always do my best to be there for you if you need. I think your mom smiled down on us from Heaven that day knowing that you were safe - at least for a little while.
Be strong, be you and I hope to see you again later this year!!
Thursday, November 24, 2011
Thanksgiving...
Thanksgiving... another come and gone... another alone (sort of) far from family and closest friends...
This time of year really starts to depress me so I stay busy with work and other things to keep my mind off it all... the phone calls are great and I love talking to mom, dad, sister, friends, etc... BUT it doesn't replace the feeling of being there.
Why don't I go back east for the holidays? Pretty tough to do - in-laws are 120 miles away from my folks and it'd just be a drive-fest from one part of NJ to the other... I always said trips to see the family are more work that pleasure and that holds true to this day...
Maybe someday now that the kids are older and can handle themselves, but $2k for tix is a bit much... Summer 2012 though will be a different story... will do it because it's been too long.
Love the family, miss the friends dearly but you know what? I wouldn't trade what I have and where I am for anything..
This time of year really starts to depress me so I stay busy with work and other things to keep my mind off it all... the phone calls are great and I love talking to mom, dad, sister, friends, etc... BUT it doesn't replace the feeling of being there.
Why don't I go back east for the holidays? Pretty tough to do - in-laws are 120 miles away from my folks and it'd just be a drive-fest from one part of NJ to the other... I always said trips to see the family are more work that pleasure and that holds true to this day...
Maybe someday now that the kids are older and can handle themselves, but $2k for tix is a bit much... Summer 2012 though will be a different story... will do it because it's been too long.
Love the family, miss the friends dearly but you know what? I wouldn't trade what I have and where I am for anything..
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Cure for Leukemia??
This would be wonderful if it works out... 27 years ago (almost to the day) my family lost a wonderful member to this terrible disease.. if this proves out, it could be the answer to millions of prayers.
http://xfinity.comcast.net/articles/news-health/20110810/US.MED.Gene.Therapy.Leukemia/
http://xfinity.comcast.net/articles/news-health/20110810/US.MED.Gene.Therapy.Leukemia/
Monday, July 25, 2011
Again...
Frustrated. Need sleep but of course, work called 1 hour after I passed out.
Amazing how we are so dependent on others to get our jobs done and how one person can screw up many... dominos at it's best.
Some day I am going to get out of the management business and become an individual contributor again but until then - back to the fight. I'll get a nap soon and then back to the office.
Amazing how we are so dependent on others to get our jobs done and how one person can screw up many... dominos at it's best.
Some day I am going to get out of the management business and become an individual contributor again but until then - back to the fight. I'll get a nap soon and then back to the office.
Monday, July 11, 2011
What a Game
So after a long, ugly week at work, I decided to watch the USA Women's Soccer team take on Brazil in the quarter finals of the Women's World Cup.
What a match!
Up 1 - 0 after only 2 minutes into the game, Brazil tied the game late in regulation forcing extra time. So 90 minutes in the books and another 30 minutes guaranteed!
Brazil goes up on what I think was a bit of a lucky goal scored by one of the best players in the world at this time (Marta) and it looked like the end. The US was playing with only 10 players - a big disadvantage in soccer terms.
But the US kept pushing... and pushing... and pushing... then near the end of extra time with Brazil trying to do everything they can to stall for time, the US scores to tie it up on a brilliant header by Abby Wambach! NEVER SAY DIE!!!
From there, they move on to penalty kicks - one on one with the goaltender from 12 yards out. One of the most difficult shots for a keeper to stop - but also one of the most difficult to make. I speak from experience on this one from both sides of the ball.
Enter Hope Solo - the new sweetheart of US Women's soccer... beautiful save by a beautiful gal moving the US into the semi-finals against France!!
USA!! USA!!
Oh yeah - moral of the story - no matter how hard you think things are, keep pushing, plugging and trying - hard work WILL pay off and there are no shortcuts to a great outcome!!
What a match!
Up 1 - 0 after only 2 minutes into the game, Brazil tied the game late in regulation forcing extra time. So 90 minutes in the books and another 30 minutes guaranteed!
Brazil goes up on what I think was a bit of a lucky goal scored by one of the best players in the world at this time (Marta) and it looked like the end. The US was playing with only 10 players - a big disadvantage in soccer terms.
But the US kept pushing... and pushing... and pushing... then near the end of extra time with Brazil trying to do everything they can to stall for time, the US scores to tie it up on a brilliant header by Abby Wambach! NEVER SAY DIE!!!
From there, they move on to penalty kicks - one on one with the goaltender from 12 yards out. One of the most difficult shots for a keeper to stop - but also one of the most difficult to make. I speak from experience on this one from both sides of the ball.
Enter Hope Solo - the new sweetheart of US Women's soccer... beautiful save by a beautiful gal moving the US into the semi-finals against France!!
USA!! USA!!
Oh yeah - moral of the story - no matter how hard you think things are, keep pushing, plugging and trying - hard work WILL pay off and there are no shortcuts to a great outcome!!
Saturday, July 2, 2011
Nothing is Free - Especially Freedom
So this weekend we celebrate our nation's independence... as we spend time with family and loved ones during this long weekend, we can't forget all the patriots - past and present - who gave us our freedom.
Lives lost and turned upside down.. families broken... it's a hell of a cost for what we call "freedom".
Isn't it too bad that the dumb-asses in Washington now can't face reality and run this country like a damn business? It's gonna cost us dearly people... class-warfare and unrest are certainly on their way because just like a household, eventually something has to give when they realize there's no more money and no matter how much is printed, it won't help...
God bless our soldiers and their families this July 4 and every day... and God bless all the hard working people in the country that REALLY keep the country going...
Lives lost and turned upside down.. families broken... it's a hell of a cost for what we call "freedom".
Isn't it too bad that the dumb-asses in Washington now can't face reality and run this country like a damn business? It's gonna cost us dearly people... class-warfare and unrest are certainly on their way because just like a household, eventually something has to give when they realize there's no more money and no matter how much is printed, it won't help...
God bless our soldiers and their families this July 4 and every day... and God bless all the hard working people in the country that REALLY keep the country going...
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