A boss at one of my old companies couldn't understand a friendship I had with someone there. Didn't understand why/how we could lean on each other in the toughest of times and hung out together.
He just didn't get it until one day about 3 years ago when I got a call from a friend in NJ. Our buddy Bill's dad passed away and Andy called me to ask if I still lived in NJ if I would make the drive to North Carolina for the funeral. My first question for Andy was what time he wanted to pick me up at my parents house. As we talked, I booked a flight for the next day to fly to NJ and the plan was to take a nap after I got to my parent's house and Andy to pick me up so we could drive together to NC for the service. For me it would be about 5000 miles in 2.5 days...
I walked into his office the next day, told him I was leaving for the airport at noon and would be back in a couple days. He asked what was going on and I told him. Told my other friend at work too because from all the stories she heard, she felt like she knew Bill and Andy as well.
Me, Bill and Andy are like brothers. I've known Andy since kindergarden and Bill since 7th grade. 30+ years... to me it was a no-brainer that I would do this - for Bill, for Andy, for Bill's mom and sister and for me as well. You don't grow up with someone like that and not get attached to the family, so it was natural.
While I was in NC, something blew up at work with my other friend and when I got back, I went off on someone because of it.
A few days later, my boss pulled me aside and proceded to tell me that he "finally understood what value I place in friendships..."
Unfortunately, all I could think to myself is "DUH! That's what it's all about..."
It's a shame that some people just don't understand what friendship is... being there...
Monday, July 30, 2007
I Don't Like When My Friends Hurt
Mood was soured later in the afternoon after I e-mailed someone I worked with and helped mentor. She's a good friend and we'd talk in the morning on our drives in to work. She was hurt when I left that outfit 18 months ago, but it had to be done because I was getting in her way...
Unfortunately, her boss (someone I reported to at that same company) is taking her for granted and she got thrown under the bus by someone and he said that he "heard things" and brought my name up again... There's history, but too much to go into here...
She's hurt and pissed off and I can't blame her because he was way out of line with what he said. It even pissed me off.
She said she's going to actively look for a new job now but somehow I don't quite think she's ready. I did give her some contact names today so she can get started so we'll see if she really does or not.
I'd like nothing more than to grab her, hug her, and tell her it'll be OK. I know it will, but I'm tired of her putting herself back into situations where she could get hurt. Maybe this is the slap in the face she needed. She knows I love her and trusts my opinions but she's always been her own person (unbelievably strong) and will get through it eventually.
It will all get better.. I know it will.
Unfortunately, her boss (someone I reported to at that same company) is taking her for granted and she got thrown under the bus by someone and he said that he "heard things" and brought my name up again... There's history, but too much to go into here...
She's hurt and pissed off and I can't blame her because he was way out of line with what he said. It even pissed me off.
She said she's going to actively look for a new job now but somehow I don't quite think she's ready. I did give her some contact names today so she can get started so we'll see if she really does or not.
I'd like nothing more than to grab her, hug her, and tell her it'll be OK. I know it will, but I'm tired of her putting herself back into situations where she could get hurt. Maybe this is the slap in the face she needed. She knows I love her and trusts my opinions but she's always been her own person (unbelievably strong) and will get through it eventually.
It will all get better.. I know it will.
Now It Begins...
Interviewed today for a position... bit of a drive, but seems like a decent outfit.
The interview process (at least for round 1) was strange... HR and 2 techies in the room with me... answered HR type questions then answered some questions for the technical crew... didn't know the answers to all of them, but admitted it up front... I think they appreciated the honesty and some of the answers I had for them.
Next was a small technical "test".. not pass/fail, but was something for them to gauge my technical abilities, etc. I think I actually did pretty good with that part of it too...
Got home, had lunch and shot off a thank you letter to the person who coordinated the meeting.
Fingers crossed...
The interview process (at least for round 1) was strange... HR and 2 techies in the room with me... answered HR type questions then answered some questions for the technical crew... didn't know the answers to all of them, but admitted it up front... I think they appreciated the honesty and some of the answers I had for them.
Next was a small technical "test".. not pass/fail, but was something for them to gauge my technical abilities, etc. I think I actually did pretty good with that part of it too...
Got home, had lunch and shot off a thank you letter to the person who coordinated the meeting.
Fingers crossed...
Sunday, July 29, 2007
The New Chapter 1
So tomorrow is my first day of not going to work... I know I've said that I would take time off and relax - kind of like a vacation, but that's going to be hard I know. Hard for me, my wife and the kids...
I don't want them getting used to me being around during the day and want to find something new relatively quickly so that I don't drive myself nuts too.
I do actually have an interview tomorrow and feel that I'm well prepared for it. I'll go in, sell myself and hopefully get an offer near what I had been making. If not, we press on...
Over the weekend it was wonderful... no blackberry ringing constantly, enjoyed a ballgame (almost) uninterrupted and spent some real good time with the kids... Taking it in for now and will start up at the gym again on Tuesday so that I can get back into the routine. Could stand to lose a few pounds anyway.
Have a great week!
I don't want them getting used to me being around during the day and want to find something new relatively quickly so that I don't drive myself nuts too.
I do actually have an interview tomorrow and feel that I'm well prepared for it. I'll go in, sell myself and hopefully get an offer near what I had been making. If not, we press on...
Over the weekend it was wonderful... no blackberry ringing constantly, enjoyed a ballgame (almost) uninterrupted and spent some real good time with the kids... Taking it in for now and will start up at the gym again on Tuesday so that I can get back into the routine. Could stand to lose a few pounds anyway.
Have a great week!
Friday, July 27, 2007
The Last Day
Last day at work today... it wasn't as hard as I thought it would be, yet it was harder in some respects.
Caught myself a couple of times talking to different people getting misted up... I'm an emotional person anyway and saying goodbye to people isn't a pleasant thing no matter what the circumstances...
In some cases I felt like I was abandoning some and leaving others to die... shit.
Dealt with HR, a final staff meeting and making "the rounds".
The staff meeting was probably the toughest and I reminded the group that was there that they are a good crew and they need to press on because if they didn't I was gonna come back and kick their asses... at least that got them laughing.
In the end, I think I did what I had hoped and that was to leave quietly, with dignity and leaving behind a couple of potetial "fires" to burn carefully selected bridges... the world is too small to burn a lot of bridges - makes for a lonely existence - so you just need to be very selective...
Every ending is another beginning - so time to start with chapter 1... but afterI take some inventory and spend some time with the kids... With that, I leave you so I can go be with my youngest.
Peace, love and whatever else floats your boat!
Out!
Caught myself a couple of times talking to different people getting misted up... I'm an emotional person anyway and saying goodbye to people isn't a pleasant thing no matter what the circumstances...
In some cases I felt like I was abandoning some and leaving others to die... shit.
Dealt with HR, a final staff meeting and making "the rounds".
The staff meeting was probably the toughest and I reminded the group that was there that they are a good crew and they need to press on because if they didn't I was gonna come back and kick their asses... at least that got them laughing.
In the end, I think I did what I had hoped and that was to leave quietly, with dignity and leaving behind a couple of potetial "fires" to burn carefully selected bridges... the world is too small to burn a lot of bridges - makes for a lonely existence - so you just need to be very selective...
Every ending is another beginning - so time to start with chapter 1... but afterI take some inventory and spend some time with the kids... With that, I leave you so I can go be with my youngest.
Peace, love and whatever else floats your boat!
Out!
Monday, July 23, 2007
The HelpDesk Turnip
Last week at work... rough start to the week because of a bunch of problems caused by AT&T nationwide. Network crap. Oh well - some things are just out of your control.
One of my co-workers and I came up with an idea that I should leave a big, ol' turnip on my desk when I leave.
Why?
So that people can be reminded that whoever takes over my position will have to squeeze BLOOD out of the damn thing!!!
Good luck to whoever that is...
One of my co-workers and I came up with an idea that I should leave a big, ol' turnip on my desk when I leave.
Why?
So that people can be reminded that whoever takes over my position will have to squeeze BLOOD out of the damn thing!!!
Good luck to whoever that is...
Saturday, July 21, 2007
This is Gonna Be a Good Day
Little things mean a lot... Today with the wife and daughter off on a Girl Scout weekend trip, it's just me an my son.
Saturday morning cartoons, baseball, a game of catch and a trip to the pool today. I haven't looked forward to a weekend in a long time and this is definitely something that's welcome. Little worry about work - only 1 week left before I leave - and no real concerns here other than trying to figure out what we're going to do for dinner tonight.
Later I plan on giving a friend of mine a call - someone who I haven't talked to in a while. She'll be surprised to hear from me and I'm looking forward to catching up a bit. A lot has happened in both our lives since we both left our native NJ quite some time ago. I'm nervous about calling though. She usually had that effect on me.
Time to go throw some batting practice for my son. Damn - this is gonna be a good day.
Saturday morning cartoons, baseball, a game of catch and a trip to the pool today. I haven't looked forward to a weekend in a long time and this is definitely something that's welcome. Little worry about work - only 1 week left before I leave - and no real concerns here other than trying to figure out what we're going to do for dinner tonight.
Later I plan on giving a friend of mine a call - someone who I haven't talked to in a while. She'll be surprised to hear from me and I'm looking forward to catching up a bit. A lot has happened in both our lives since we both left our native NJ quite some time ago. I'm nervous about calling though. She usually had that effect on me.
Time to go throw some batting practice for my son. Damn - this is gonna be a good day.
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
National Ride to Work Day
Today was national Ride to Work Day. Similar to Bike to Work Day, this day promoted alternate transportation - specifically motorcycles. Seemed to me like a good turnout as there were plenty of bikes on the ride to and from work today. The 3rd Wednesday in July is designated for this day.
Ride home was a little dicy with 40 - 50 mph winds most of the way, but it was still a damn good day to ride.
Interested in learning a little more about it? Visit http://www.ridetowork.org/
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
I Love My Friends!
Each morning I get the pleasure of talking to a very dear friend of mine on my ride in to work. She calls me just to chat and it makes the time go quick during our commutes.
Sometimes we talk about work (a lot lately given my situation) and sometimes we talk about "stuff".
I love her dearly and miss her since we don't see each other since I left the company we used to work for together. We grew very close and have helped each other through a few tough times, both professionally and personally.
Everyone should be blessed to have a friend like that. I know I sure am.
Sometimes we talk about work (a lot lately given my situation) and sometimes we talk about "stuff".
I love her dearly and miss her since we don't see each other since I left the company we used to work for together. We grew very close and have helped each other through a few tough times, both professionally and personally.
Everyone should be blessed to have a friend like that. I know I sure am.
Monday, July 16, 2007
How Bad Is It? ... Really
I was going through some notes from a conference I was at back in May. One of the speakers was Alan Hobson. The only word to describe his keynote is WOW!
How many times have we thought we were getting a raw deal? How many times have we thought "why is this happening to me?".
Here's part of Mr. Hobson's "resume":
Mt. Everest - almost
Mt. Everest - almost #2
Cancer diagnosis
Cancer survivor
Cancer ass-kicker
Mt. Everest - SUCCESS!
Mr Hobson spoke about his experience of not once, but twice being stopped by circumstances as he closed in on the summit of Everest, his bout with cancer of the blood and then conquering not only the cancer and Everest, but also how he is pioneering new ideas about the treatment of cancer through physical activity and fitness.
The man had biceps that were the envy of every guy in the room - some of which were obviously lifting to keep fit. He had an air of confidence that rivaled the expanse of Everest itself. I don't think there was a dry eye in the room of about 2000 people when he was talking to us about "failure". He was all about turning a missed opportunity into something more and then doing something about it.
Truly inspiring to see his story. He talked about his training for his third ascent of Everest and had a picture of himself on a treadmill - he didn't weigh more than 150 pounds and he had this picture of him working on this treadmill with what had to be at least an 80 pound pack at the steepest incline possible. He said that with each pair of steps he'd take, he would repeat the same two words, over and over - CAN - WILL; CAN - WILL...
I certainly don't do it justice here, but he was an amazing person to see and hear. If anyone has the chance to see him, enjoy - if you can't, look for his book called From Everest to Enlightenment
I haven't read it yet myself, but plan to this summer. If anyone's read it already, please share what you thought. Also, check out his web site http://www.climbback.com
And as I found out today on his web site, his encore is planned. How can you top all he's done so far? How about a return to Everest?!?! See the link below for details:
http://www.climbback.com/assets/pdf/EverestRocksFastFacts.pdf
Next time you think you might be having a bad day, think about Alan Hobson who probably had more bad days than most people who will read this post combined (and then some).
How bad is it? - REALLY
How many times have we thought we were getting a raw deal? How many times have we thought "why is this happening to me?".
Here's part of Mr. Hobson's "resume":
Mt. Everest - almost
Mt. Everest - almost #2
Cancer diagnosis
Cancer survivor
Cancer ass-kicker
Mt. Everest - SUCCESS!
Mr Hobson spoke about his experience of not once, but twice being stopped by circumstances as he closed in on the summit of Everest, his bout with cancer of the blood and then conquering not only the cancer and Everest, but also how he is pioneering new ideas about the treatment of cancer through physical activity and fitness.
The man had biceps that were the envy of every guy in the room - some of which were obviously lifting to keep fit. He had an air of confidence that rivaled the expanse of Everest itself. I don't think there was a dry eye in the room of about 2000 people when he was talking to us about "failure". He was all about turning a missed opportunity into something more and then doing something about it.
Truly inspiring to see his story. He talked about his training for his third ascent of Everest and had a picture of himself on a treadmill - he didn't weigh more than 150 pounds and he had this picture of him working on this treadmill with what had to be at least an 80 pound pack at the steepest incline possible. He said that with each pair of steps he'd take, he would repeat the same two words, over and over - CAN - WILL; CAN - WILL...
I certainly don't do it justice here, but he was an amazing person to see and hear. If anyone has the chance to see him, enjoy - if you can't, look for his book called From Everest to Enlightenment
I haven't read it yet myself, but plan to this summer. If anyone's read it already, please share what you thought. Also, check out his web site http://www.climbback.com
And as I found out today on his web site, his encore is planned. How can you top all he's done so far? How about a return to Everest?!?! See the link below for details:
http://www.climbback.com/assets/pdf/EverestRocksFastFacts.pdf
Next time you think you might be having a bad day, think about Alan Hobson who probably had more bad days than most people who will read this post combined (and then some).
How bad is it? - REALLY
Sunday, July 15, 2007
Happy Sunday...
Got on the motorcycle for a bit today... rode to nowhere in particular but did have to stop at work to let my Sunday crew know about my "resignation".
They weren't happy but were supportive. It's a good crew overall and it'll be tough to leave, but it's the right thing to do.
While riding, was just taking in some of the scenery - landscapes on houses, clouds in the distance and the foothills to the west. If you don't ride, it's worth learning just to experience it in the open instead of in a "cage".
Need to ride more.
They weren't happy but were supportive. It's a good crew overall and it'll be tough to leave, but it's the right thing to do.
While riding, was just taking in some of the scenery - landscapes on houses, clouds in the distance and the foothills to the west. If you don't ride, it's worth learning just to experience it in the open instead of in a "cage".
Need to ride more.
Saturday, July 14, 2007
Serenity...
Quiet day. Not much going on.
Taking it all in and relaxing. Blood pressure is good and things are calm...
Turning out to be a very good weekend so far. Tomorrow will be rougher though because of what I have to do at work. Anyway - I'll enjoy it while I can.
Off to go do some reading and to relax some more.
Taking it all in and relaxing. Blood pressure is good and things are calm...
Turning out to be a very good weekend so far. Tomorrow will be rougher though because of what I have to do at work. Anyway - I'll enjoy it while I can.
Off to go do some reading and to relax some more.
The DAWGS Arrive
The litter is born... sort of...
Last night I started writing about my youth - the good times had at a part-time job held by many at an east coast supermarket affectionately know as "The Tombs".
Check it out at http://dawgsof557.blogspot.com
Last night I started writing about my youth - the good times had at a part-time job held by many at an east coast supermarket affectionately know as "The Tombs".
Check it out at http://dawgsof557.blogspot.com
Friday, July 13, 2007
2 Weeks and Counting
Announcment of my "resignation" today to 1/2 of my team. I will get the rest of the team on Sunday. Reaction ranged from shock to disbelief to anger. Couple of more leads on new positions and we'll see how it goes.
After I'm gone, I'll be able to give the team more of the "real" story - ie - how I was going to be let go anyway. My "resignation" is a way for me to save face on my way out the door.
JAs TidBit of the Day - NEVER BURN BRIDGES when leaving a company. It's a small world out there and you never know when you'll need a recommendation, reference or job lead. Always keep the doors and communication going.
Happy Friday - now where's my damn beer?!?!
After I'm gone, I'll be able to give the team more of the "real" story - ie - how I was going to be let go anyway. My "resignation" is a way for me to save face on my way out the door.
JAs TidBit of the Day - NEVER BURN BRIDGES when leaving a company. It's a small world out there and you never know when you'll need a recommendation, reference or job lead. Always keep the doors and communication going.
Happy Friday - now where's my damn beer?!?!
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
Try, Try Again...
Job search update - got a rejection from one outfit today... no big deal... stung for a few minutes because I really thought I might be a good fit, but oh well.. better luck next time.
Still have about 5 or 6 possibilities and I'll work hard at working the network to see if I can get my foot in the door somewhere. I'm also going to start expanding my options by looking into some technical writing stuff as well.
Really working the LinkedIn network... if you're not on LinkedIn, I HIGHLY recommend it! You can reconnect with past friends, colleagues and friends of friends... check it out!
http://www.linkedin.com
My profile is at http://www.linkedin.com/in/jalfonso475
Still have about 5 or 6 possibilities and I'll work hard at working the network to see if I can get my foot in the door somewhere. I'm also going to start expanding my options by looking into some technical writing stuff as well.
Really working the LinkedIn network... if you're not on LinkedIn, I HIGHLY recommend it! You can reconnect with past friends, colleagues and friends of friends... check it out!
http://www.linkedin.com
My profile is at http://www.linkedin.com/in/jalfonso475
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Ideas, Ideas, Ideas
Ideas, Ideas, Ideas....
Tonight I went to my first networking event since I'm looking for a new job. I was scared at first because I've never been in this situation before, and I'm not very comfortable at these things (naturally introverted to some degree).
It actually went pretty well - didn't get any solid leads but met some very nice people and got some ideas on where to look for a new position. It made me stretch a little bit and I felt comfortable by the time I left.
Interesting experience and I'll return next month for the next one if I have a new position or not.
Tonight I went to my first networking event since I'm looking for a new job. I was scared at first because I've never been in this situation before, and I'm not very comfortable at these things (naturally introverted to some degree).
It actually went pretty well - didn't get any solid leads but met some very nice people and got some ideas on where to look for a new position. It made me stretch a little bit and I felt comfortable by the time I left.
Interesting experience and I'll return next month for the next one if I have a new position or not.
Wednesday, July 4, 2007
Encouragement on the Blog Front
I've been doing this for just a few days (maybe 2 weeks now)... just rambling, writing, journaling and I was actually encouraged to see that there have been other visitors besides myself on the site. No comments left, but that's OK.
I'm hoping that in the next few days I can start to either standardize some content or actually come up with a theme for a new blog - not sure what I would do just yet, but we'll see.
I've been reading a lot of the "how to" type posts on different blogs and one of the best I've found so far is ProBlogger (http://www.problogger.net/archives/2006/02/14/blogging-for-beginners-2/)
Lots of advice and Darren Rowse uses some nice add-ins like StumbleUpon (http://stumbleupon.com) that can give you a lot of ideas for your own blog.
Give ProBlogger a look-see.
I'm hoping that in the next few days I can start to either standardize some content or actually come up with a theme for a new blog - not sure what I would do just yet, but we'll see.
I've been reading a lot of the "how to" type posts on different blogs and one of the best I've found so far is ProBlogger (http://www.problogger.net/archives/2006/02/14/blogging-for-beginners-2/)
Lots of advice and Darren Rowse uses some nice add-ins like StumbleUpon (http://stumbleupon.com) that can give you a lot of ideas for your own blog.
Give ProBlogger a look-see.
Tuesday, July 3, 2007
Good Hockey Blog Found
I'm a hockey fan.
Played since I was 5, remember that Craig McTavish of the Flyers was the last play to play in the NHL without a helmet, remember Patrick Roy's rookie season with the Canadiens and all kinds of other stuff...
When I said that I wanted to play goalie at the age of 10, my older cousin told me to be a center because keepers never get the girls... he was right to a certain degree. I never (or seldom) scored the winning goal, even when I did play center, but as a keeper, I wasn't half bad and had enough shutouts that I did get what I still think was the best looking girl that hung out with us on the team.
Found a good hockey blog and encourage people to check it out...
http://imhockeynutz.blogspot.com/
In the Rocky Mountains, the Avalanche are who everyone follows, but there are plenty of Detroit fans here. A RedWings/Avs match-up is almost as exciting, vocal (and sometimes violent) as a Broncos/Raiders game or even a Devils/Rangers game back east (I was a Devils season ticket holder for 10 years before moving to the mountains) and those were some pretty entertaining nights at the Continental Airlines arena (the hockey wasn't bad either!)
Played since I was 5, remember that Craig McTavish of the Flyers was the last play to play in the NHL without a helmet, remember Patrick Roy's rookie season with the Canadiens and all kinds of other stuff...
When I said that I wanted to play goalie at the age of 10, my older cousin told me to be a center because keepers never get the girls... he was right to a certain degree. I never (or seldom) scored the winning goal, even when I did play center, but as a keeper, I wasn't half bad and had enough shutouts that I did get what I still think was the best looking girl that hung out with us on the team.
Found a good hockey blog and encourage people to check it out...
http://imhockeynutz.blogspot.com/
In the Rocky Mountains, the Avalanche are who everyone follows, but there are plenty of Detroit fans here. A RedWings/Avs match-up is almost as exciting, vocal (and sometimes violent) as a Broncos/Raiders game or even a Devils/Rangers game back east (I was a Devils season ticket holder for 10 years before moving to the mountains) and those were some pretty entertaining nights at the Continental Airlines arena (the hockey wasn't bad either!)
Fear and Loating on the Work Front
Retail sucks... all I can say...
Anyone looking for work fulltime in the retail arena is either impervious to pain, damn stupid or just plain sick in the freakin' head - probably all three!!!
After a year and a half, I'm ready to call it quits and it may not be my choice... it's for the better though...
$$ isn't that great, hours suck and the company I work for is just plain insane! Unless you're a hero at least one time a year, you never get recognized. If you're a back-stabbing, pig fucking SOB, you're OK, but if you try to be honest, and do a good job, you'll get screwed in the end.
Out for now - stay out of retail!
Anyone looking for work fulltime in the retail arena is either impervious to pain, damn stupid or just plain sick in the freakin' head - probably all three!!!
After a year and a half, I'm ready to call it quits and it may not be my choice... it's for the better though...
$$ isn't that great, hours suck and the company I work for is just plain insane! Unless you're a hero at least one time a year, you never get recognized. If you're a back-stabbing, pig fucking SOB, you're OK, but if you try to be honest, and do a good job, you'll get screwed in the end.
Out for now - stay out of retail!
Monday, July 2, 2007
Trust Only Mom & Dad...
And even then, be careful!
Been a while since I've updated/posted. Things have been crazy at work and a lesson taught to me a long time ago growing up on the east coast near NYC came back today...
Something that was supposed to be held confidential at work was let out by someone in HR... real nice, huh? I was pretty surprised when someone working for me came in and asked me point-blank if I was leaving. "well, uh - not exactly - you see, I'm being asked to leave!"
Not exactly what I said, but let's put it this way, I want someone's head on a platter for this because I asked that if I was going to be let go that I be allowed to go with some dignity. Yeah right - serves me right for trusting a retail organization.
Anyway - I'm back and hopefully will post more faithfully from here on in. (not that anyone else but me is really reading this, but...)
ciao
Been a while since I've updated/posted. Things have been crazy at work and a lesson taught to me a long time ago growing up on the east coast near NYC came back today...
Something that was supposed to be held confidential at work was let out by someone in HR... real nice, huh? I was pretty surprised when someone working for me came in and asked me point-blank if I was leaving. "well, uh - not exactly - you see, I'm being asked to leave!"
Not exactly what I said, but let's put it this way, I want someone's head on a platter for this because I asked that if I was going to be let go that I be allowed to go with some dignity. Yeah right - serves me right for trusting a retail organization.
Anyway - I'm back and hopefully will post more faithfully from here on in. (not that anyone else but me is really reading this, but...)
ciao
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