Let it Snow...

Finally some snow in the Denver area... only problem is that it's deciding to do it overnight and just making a bloody mess of the rush hour... it's still mighty nice to look to the mountains from the office and see the white-capped peaks in the distance...

Keep it coming in the mountains for sure!!

Weigh In

First weigh in was on Saturday 12/8/07 ... lost 1 pound... at a pound a week, that's hitting my target - or at least getting close. Need to do some work though this week - been a tough one diet-wise and hard to work out because of all the things going on.

Need to break it up during the day and do some in the morning and some at night.

Still working at it, but honestly, I have to hit a rhythm and carry this pig out!

The Line is Drawn...

In my last post I wrote about how it's time to transform myself... work hard to lose the extra weight I know that I'm carrying around.

Well now I know exactly how much there is to take off. When I got on the scale it read 198 pounds. I am looking to get between 180 and 185 so we're looking at 13 - 18 pounds, hopefully by the end of march.

How will I do it? Most likely the old fashioned way - work out, watch what I eat, ease up on the portions, etc. A friend of mine recently lost 28 pounds with some plan that called for 64 oz of water per day, lots of GREEN veggies (no carrots or corn - too much sugar) and lots of white meat. I might do a variation on that theme but on my own. I can't afford to do a plan that I have to shell out money for.

I know this is a lousy time of the year to start on something like this, but I don't have a choice - I don't like the way I look and only I can do something about it.

Look for weekly updates on the situation.

Time to Transform Myself...

My doctor's not going to be happy with me when I go in for my annual physical in late March. I'm carrying about 15 pounds more than I should and I'm sure my cholesterol is running high.

I need to do things differently for myself, for my family, for my friends. I plan on revamping my diet - not drastically, but just enough to eliminate some of the crap that I eat more often than I should. I am also hitting the gym again and will hopefully start to walk either at lunch or after work for some extra exercise.

I play soccer, but I struggle a bit - I can't play a whole game like I used to and it makes me sad. I don't think I'm discouraged, but I do find myself eating past 7 or 8pm and I know that's not good.

This Saturday I'm going to weigh in on my home scale and take my blood pressure reading and then track my progress.

Stay tuned and wish me luck!

Unreasonable Customers

Some people are just unreasonable... we had a situation at work tonight (we're a 24x7x365 operation) and the people on the other end of the phone were just so unreasonable...

We tried to reassure them that we were taking all measures to get in touch with the right people, but they would just not accept that..

Finally one of my techs to prove to this jackass on the other end of the line that we weren't just bullshitting him conferenced him into the calls he was making to prove that no one was answering the phones ...

Still - the jackass continued braying away... "I want it NOW", "you don't understand", "I want retribution".... on and on the guy went...

Problem is that the guy's client is the one that caused the problem in the first place by not abiding by the rules... and you want ME on a HOLIDAY that I am spending with MY FAMILY to jump through flaming hoops for you? KISS MY ASS!!!

Giving Thanks...

I'm sure I'm like a lot of bloggers in the US who are writing on this topic ...

You've got the obvious things - my friends, my family, my health (although my doctor is working me over pretty good to lose that 10 - 15 pounds by my next physical), a roof over my head, etc. etc. etc.

One of the things I'm MOST thankful for is the new job I've been in for the past 8 weeks. After my last gig, this is a wonderful change for me and I'm very happy to have landed where I did. New friends, new challenges and a management team that supports me and my ideas.

The other thing I'm thankful for is the work of all the military men and women who are protecting me, my family and our friends by putting their lives on hold and on the line - every day. Without them and the support of THEIR families, we sure as hell wouldn't be enjoying what we do each and every day of our lives.

If you are reading this and are associated with a military family, unit, etc. - my sincere thanks for all you and your fellow soldiers do for us. We love you all!

Strike Three!!

Verdict is in... Matt Holliday didn't win National League MVP...

Shouldn't be surprised, but I am disappointed... 3 times unlucky in the post-season awards.

It sure would have been nice to bring home some hardware after being swept in the series... Oh well, not too much longer before pitchers and catchers report for Spring Training!

Third Time's a Charm (I Hope)...

Tuesday, November 20th is the last chance that the MLB Writers have to make things right by having voted Matt Holliday the National League MVP.

Strike 1 - Not voting Troy Tulowitzki as NL Rookie of the Year
Strike 2 - Not voting Clint Hurdle as NL Manager of the Year

Hopefully the MLB Writers won't strike out...

Unfortunately, this is an 0-2 count and folks in Colorado are expecting a huge hook of a curve-ball for Strike 3. It's a shame that so many people I've talked to already figure the east coast writers have screwed Colorado again for something well deserved.

Stay tuned... Hopefully the third time's the charm!!

They Took the F#*(#@ING BAR!!!

Taking a look through today's headlines, I came across this story that brought to mind the famous line from "Animal House". Thank you to the late, great John Belushi for that one.

Apparently there were 2400 bottles of Jack Daniel's whiskey found - some dating back to the early 1900s - that the feds are threatening to dump down the drain because they were stolen and were to be sold on the black market...

Ummm - excuse me people - shouldn't the stolen property be returned to the rightful owner if the stuff was heisted from the JD warehouses? Some of these bottles are rare and I'm sure they would rather have them back instead of seeing it being dumped. This isn't the '30s and this ain't prohibition!

See story at link below:
http://www6.comcast.net/news/articles/national/2007/11/15/Confiscated.Whiskey/?cvqh=itn_whiskey

Hmmm - I wonder if any of these bottles are the old JD White Label bottles - you know - the ones you can't find any more? Personally, I have a bottle of Green Label from 1982 that hasn't been opened yet and I have a bounty out on a bottle of White Label. No body can even tell me if it's still made anymore.

How about it people - anyone know where I can get a 750ml or 1.75l bottle of White Label Jack Daniels??? C'mon - help a brother out!!!

More BOOs for MLB Writers

Unfortunately, Rockies manager Clint Hurdle has been passed over as Manager of the Year.

Given the streak at the end of the year, the solid play of the team over the course of the year and the general lack of "drama" on the team during the season, it's truly a shame that he was overlooked - and even worse, came in third in the voting.

Maybe MLB should look at waiting until the playoffs start so that it's truly the Manager of the YEAR and not the Manager of the PARTIAL Year award.

Get it together folks - Hurdle deserved it.

Will the MLB writers get the "hat trick" and screw the Rockies 3 times over by denying Matt Holiday the NL MVP award?

Stay tuned...

Rest in Peace Marley

Got a call from my best friend back east telling me some sad news. He had to put down his dog recently and it had to be one of the toughest things he's done.

Marley was a great dog - a Hungarian Comondor. Essentially a Hungarian Sheepdog that early on was bred to mix in with the sheep in the fields and kill the wolves as they stalked and hunted the sheep.

Marley was such a gentle sole though. Great with kids and just a wonderful companion. For 15 and a half years she was with my friend and they took very good care of each other.

Marley is now with my late pal, Dallas and they're both waiting for me and my friend. God willing, they'll have to wait for a good long time for us to join them but that doesn't mean we won't keep thinking of them often.

MLB Writers - BOO HISS!!!

We've been robbed! That's the feeling I have right now because of the NL Rookie of the Year selection did not go in favor of Troy Tulowitzki of the Colorado Rockies.

http://mlb.mlb.com/news/article.jsp?ymd=20071112&content_id=2298624&vkey=news_mlb&fext=.jsp&c_id=mlb

Granted that Ryan Braun had some of the better numbers at the plate, but it's a shame that the baseball writers did not take into consideration Tulo's stellar defense throughout the season.

No one had a better fielding percentage that Tulowitzki and that contributed to his credibility as a legitimate contender for the Rookie of the Year award.

Writers tend to gloss over anything coming out of the Rockies organization as well - that because of the past history at Coors Field... get over it folks!

The only consolation is that the voting was close... small consolation though because I don't believe the better man won in this case.

It's Been Awhile...

Been gone for a bit.. been busy with the new job, stuff around the house and such...

I'm hoping to be able to devote a little more time to writing moving forward and will actually start to do an outline for myself so that I can keep things going and generate ideas, etc.

Bear with me while I re-ramp things up here...

In the meantime, peace...

Thanks For a Great Season

This post is long overdue... but Thank You to the Rockies for a great season.

Ups, downs, frustrations and elations... in the end it would have been nice to have been on the winning end of the series, but there will be talk of "the streak" for years to come...

September 2007 will be a month that many will not forget.

In the face of defeat, the entire team - to a man - was gracious and showed great sportsmanship. An example for all.

Remember what it felt like watching that celebration and bring it on in 2008!

Thanks for a great season to the Colorado Rockies

What a Difference a Week Makes

Wow... what a difference a week makes.

Rockies get lit up for 13 runs in the first game of the World Series on Wednesday night and then lose a tough game 2 by the score of 2 - 1.

Down 0 - 2 coming back to Denver, the local papers have it correct - the bats have to wake up and the pitching staff has to stop offering free passes to first in the form of walks and hit batters.

The team is for real - believe me... no team wins 21 out of 22 at the end of the season and into the front edge of the playoffs without being real, but they boys gotta wake up a bit...

Honeymoon's over fellas... now kick some Red Sox ass!!!

GO ROCKIES

(ps to all those scalpers out there that scoffed up all the tix in the on-line debacle of a ticket sale - BITE ME you scum sucking greed-head freaks!!!)

Goodbye and Thanks for Nothing

Had a person on my staff resign today. Not that big a deal, but the way he did it left a lot to be said of his professionalism.

He showed up at about 5:30pm, after I had left. According to the people who were there, he dropped a note on my desk, dropped off his equipment, cleaned out his desk, bad-mouthed a member of the team, dropped a couple of F-Bombs and left.

Gee - thanks for giving me an opportunity to try to resolve some of your concerns. You were good, but you burned that bridge pal. You'll be lucky to get name, rank and serial number from me in a reference.

It's too bad because I thought that you could have helped me with this team. Guess that was asking too much from someone who waited less than 48 hours after I started to start raking me over the coals for not immediately changing things.

Change takes time, change takes patience. My advice to you? Get out of the technology field. Go into something where you don't have to interact with people and where there's no chance of any conflict. You can't handle it.

For my part, sorry charlie. For your part, you should be sorry and embarrassed by your behavior.

Is Technology REALLY the Answer?

Unfortunately for the Colorado Rockies, the answer is a resounding NO!

Nothing but trouble all day long with the sale of World Series tickets. 8.5 million hits on the web site that was supposed to facilitate the sale of the high-priced, high-prized tickets. That's 4 times the number of people in the whole damn state! Only 500 out of 60,000 tickets were sold successfully.

So what gives?

My guess is that it was scalpers .. oh - I'm sorry - "Ticket Brokers"

You know - the scumbags that keep us working schmucks from picking up tickets for events at a fair price. The assholes use software to flood ticket web sites so that they can essentially "bump" their way into the line. Then they basically double and triple (legally?) the prices of the tickets. Hmmm.. they can do this legally but I can't sell a ticket for any more than face value? Can you say "racketeering"?

Ticketmaster was the first legal ticket racket. Unfortunately it has spread.

The Rockies should have just stuck to the lottery system for this - there were no compelling reasons to try to do this through the internet.

Football, Yardwork and Family Time

Spent a lot of good quality time with my (almost) 5 year old son over the weekend.

Lots of time outside on Saturday doing yardwork and getting lots of "help" from the boy. Spent Sunday indoors because of the weather (about 4 inches of snow that's already melted) and watching movies and football games and more movies and playing and cleaning.

He's a good kid and I loved the time but I'm sure tired. 6am is going to come real fast after I fall asleep.

Fun Weekend Planned

The wife and daughter are going away for the weekend on a field trip... that leaves me and my son.

Not really big plans, but it will be fun. Weather is supposed to be lousy on Sunday so we're probably going to rent some movies, make some food and "camp out" in the family room.

Saturday will be filled with yard work and other outdoor stuff.

We're both looking forward to having some fun!!

What a Ride for the Rockies!!

National League champs. Has a great ring, doesn't it?

The scene in lower downtown Denver was unbelievable last night before, during and especially after the Rockies sweep of Arizona. Outside Coors Field after the game there was a reported 30 minute gridlock of people celebrating in the intersection at 20th and Blake - and no one seemed to mind one bit.

The Rockies had just won their 21st of their last 22 games dating back to early September and swept the Diamondbacks back to the Arizona desert. Defense, key offensive timing and superb pitching by both starters and the bullpen gave the Rockies the upper hand on Philadelphia and Arizona.

Now let's keep up the mad pace and beat up on the winner of the Red Sox/Indians series and bring home the BIG ONE!!!

GO ROCKIES!

Cold Night for Baseball

Here in Colorado, more football-like weather than baseball-like weather...

Cold, drizzle... mid to upper 40's... is this really a good day for baseball?

You bet your ass it is! The Rockies are on a major roll, winning 19 of their last 20 games and hold a 2 games to zero lead in the NLCS over Arizona.

The team has a lot to play for - individually and as a team... but not one person on the team is showing up any other... true team effort on the field and off (when dealing with the media).

Baseball is back in Colorado... there's history here for those of you who think we're buried in snow 10 months out of they year. Actually I've played golf on 70 degree days in January and ridden my motorcycle at least one day each month. Granted, the weather is iffy in October (blizzard of 1997 that was followed by a week of mid-70s) but we're talking Rockies playoff baseball now.

Who cares about the weather! GO ROCKIES!!!

Don't be This Way.. Come Back

I know why you didn't show up at the game(s) on Thursday... it's OK.

We want you back - we need you back. Don't be mad at yourself or anyone else... just come back because we miss you.. I miss you...

In My Dreams...

Old Dokken song from the 80's. We both loved it.

Why were you in my dreams over the weekend? I haven't seen you since you left NJ so many years ago...

We talk on the phone from time to time and I am SO PROUD of you for getting your life back in order. I still love you and I know why you left, but I can't help but think sometimes - "What if...?"

Could it have worked? Could we have survived? I think we both know we would have tried very hard to make it work.

You told me you loved me and I know you did. I know you still do based on the letters we've shared and I know that you ask the same questions.

I know you're scared of the answers. I am too. I'd love to see you again - but only if you wanted to. I've thought about what we'd do if we met up - how we'd react, how awkward the conversation would be. But then my dreams save me and the moment.

But in my dreams, it was all OK. We talked - the way we did those nights - just talked - until 3 and 4am. We looked in each others eyes and knew it was OK. Your eyes are so peaceful to me even now. I keep the picture of us after that hockey game and when I look at it, your eyes blow me away.

Your mom knew we loved each other. She knew and she approved. She knew I'd take care of you and I think it tore her apart as much as it did me when you left. But you found yourself and she was happy. She told me that it hurt you to leave. She told me how you cried before going to South Dakota. But then she told me that she was happy that you found yourself finally, found happiness, found a friend and a solemate. Started a family.

And then she told me that she was sorry ... sorry for me... sorry for us... sorry that we never had the chance to find out. She told me that it was because you loved me that you had to go. She smiled when she said that and I knew what she meant. You were saving yourself from those demons you faced.

You faced them, you beat them. You survived and that makes me so proud because you did it.

In my dreams, you'll always be... Never forget that.

Happy Birthday and Love always.

So Many Ideas...

On the job front, there is so much to do... it's wonderful!

At my last position, the attitude was just get shit done, don't worry about how much you're spinning your wheels... oh - and you won't get any support from management... oh - and no matter how good you do with what little you have, you'll still get screwed in the end...

The new place is a complete 180-degree turn from that. I have support from management to enact ideas. They want my ideas. They are excited about my ideas! Not only am I learning new things, but I'm also teaching my boss new things and she wants more!

This is the boost that I needed. This shows me that the last place was an ugly dream and that I was doing the right thing all along - it was just that the thinking there was so screwed, there was no way to succeed.

Here's to not looking back at certain chapters of our lives!

A Great Win ... And a Terrible Loss

So the Rockies swept the Phillies in the National League Divisional Series and will now take on the Arizona Diamondbacks in the League Championship Series. What a win! 2 - 1 in front of a packed house.

Contrast that with the Broncos UGLY loss today (41 - 3) at the hands of the San Diego Chargers. Ugly in all aspects of the game - offense that couldn't move the ball, defense that couldn't stop a slug moving across the sidewalk and special teams that gave up 7 points on a fumbled kick off return.

The sad thing is that the fans are no longer behind the Broncos. And they (the fans) got called out by members of the team after the game. Good for the players because fans in this city are nothing but a bunch of fair weather fans. They love you if you're good, hate you if you're bad.

For more than 1/2 the season, the Rockies hadn't seen more than 20,000 people at a game - then the Yankees come to town and the prices SKYROCKET! Hey - wait a minute... I thought $20 tickets were $20!?!? What do you mean you're raising the price by 200% just because the friggin' YANKEES are coming to town?

It's too bad there were so many people willing to pay the $$ for those games. I would have loved to see the team suffer a big loss (financially) with a lack of fan support for the practice of selectively setting prices. Gee - isn't that price fixing? Should the government get involved with that? Sounds like a racket to me...

Anyway - Still lots of baseball left in this town - now just hope the snow holds off :-)

GO ROCKIES!

Why Do You Do This??

Why?

Why show up to the game so drunk that you can't play?
Why say the things you did when I tried to reach out to you to help?

I know that it was the booze talking, but it hurt... it stung...

You're beautiful, I care and I love you... I'll try again next week.

Sports Weekend

This is going to be one hell of a weekend for Denver sports...

Rockies home on Saturday to try to sweep their NLDS against Philly
Sunday the Avalanche and the Broncos at home and if the Rockies need game 4, they'll be at it also...

The sports bars are loving this and so am I...

Go Rockies!!!

What the Hell Is Happening?!??!

Scanning the headlines tonight and seeing that a 13 year old in Florida killed his younger brother because he "ate a dessert he shouldn't have" turned my stomach.

What could be worse than a sibling killing another over a stupid fucking DESSERT?!?!?

Actually there is something worse - the MEDIA!!!

Deeper in the story, there was a sentence that stated that the sherriff's department didn't know what the dessert was. WHAT? Excuse me?!?!? What freaking GENIUS thought that was even remotely revelent?!?!?

What an ass...

You try to teach your kids that things like this (unfortunately) are part of the world now. You try to teach them right from wrong, guide them, comfort them. Then some idiot puts a dessert above the fact that this tragedy happened.

It's a sad, sad world sometimes... I just wish that some newspaper editor somewhere had the balls to buck the trend one time and print GOOD news for a change. Maybe then, kids could have positive role models instead of the likes of Michael Vick and Britney Spears (among others).

Parents - hug your kids and tell them that THEY can make a difference in the world by doing good. You may not get the recognition you deserve by doing good, but it sure beats the alternative...

THEY'RE IN!!!

The Rockies have done it!

What an exciting game last night. And how fitting that Matt Holiday score the winning run after the problem he had with that fly ball in the 8th inning allowing the Padres to tie the game.

I wasn't at the game, but the excitement was still there in the family room. What a game.

Todd Helton and the whole team deserve this.

Can they make it to the World Series? I don't know, but if they keep playing the way they did over the last 2 weeks (winning 14 of the last 15 games) they have a damn good chance of doing just that.

First (Half)Week Down...

Well - the first half-week at the new job is done. Lots to learn and the feeling of overwhelm is still there, but it's not that bad. Lots to learn, lots to read, lots more to learn.

Of course, I'll work hard and I've given my new boss some new ideas that we're going to talk about next week.

Lots of meetings and trainings next week so it should go quick and be fun.

This is going to be a good thing!!

Now to swing a plan into motion to get some of the people I used to work with on board.

Four Games and Still In It!!

The Colorado Rockies are down to their last 4 games of the season and still in the thick of this wildcard race in the National League...

Four weeks into the NFL season and we're still talking baseball in the Rocky Mountains - it's strange in some ways.

It's too bad the SF Giants couldn't hold on to their lead in the ninth inning 2 nights ago or else the Rox would be tied for that position with San Diego...

True, the Rockies need help from others, but they've done pretty good by themselves with this 10 game winning streak going into tonight's game with the Dodgers. Longest streak in franchise history - what a great time for them to string together a bunch of wins.

When all is said and done - with or without the playoffs - I think the Rockies have generated some interest for next season already. Now let's hope Dan O'Dowd doesn't go screwing with the roster too much and bring the whole house of cards tumbling down again...

We got a winning team in Denver now - DON'T SCREW WITH IT TOO MUCH!!!

GO ROCKIES!

Good Beginnings...

After 2 days on the new job, I feel pretty good...

It's a sense of overwhelm, but in a good way. Yesterday on day 1, I was introduced to what seemed like half the company! Yeah - like I'm gonna remember that many names so quickly :-)

Everyone is nice and I had sent out an e-mail to my new group letting them know that I was going to set up 1:1 meetings with them all so they can get to know me and I can get to know them better. I also want to ask questions and let them ask me some questions also. The VP of the group got the message and told me that she liked it...

Lots to learn - process, procedure, product.... lots of training classes coming up now over the next few days and I'll start to listen in on the phones with some of the folks as well so I can hear what they hear and see how they operate.

I have a good feeling about this...

New Job - New Beginning

Well, tomorrow is the big day!

New job, new opportunities, new chances to renew my own faith in myself after working in that hell hole for 17 months and getting no support, respect or recognition.

Many people I had worked with are gone from that place and of the remaining ones, I will try to "rescue" some of the better ones that are left.

I'm nervous like it's the first day in a new school. I hope I can sleep OK tonight. It's a good nervous though.

I'm excited to meet the different people I'll be working with, my new team and getting involved. I know I have a lot to bring to the table - I just don't want to show up with my tail between my legs after the beatings we all took at the old place.

Time to go have a beer, relax and watch the Rockies try to make some more noise in the NL West!

Wish me luck!

(PS - Hey Fluff, I'll let you know what's happening as far as hiring is concerned! I want to have a 1:1 w/my boss before the week is out so get that resume ready!!)

When You Play With Fire...

Well it happened... the Broncos showed their true colors today and Jason Elam's famed leg wasn't going to save them this week...

No way, no how... I called it out last week in a previous post. See Living on the Edge.

They couldn't get the job done this week on either side of the ball and I'm not surprised. They're not THAT good of a team. They couldn't go in for the kill in weeks 1 and 2 like a good team should, letting weaker teams hang around until the last second heroics by Elam each week.

You can't survive in the NFL by winning games in the last second (not against weaker teams, that is). Against those teams, you've got to recognize the blood in the water and destroy them.

Until today, some of the local media have been optimistic about the team and seemed like they thought the first 2 weeks were flukes. Nope - the Broncos will struggle this year and easily could be 0 - 3 instead of 2 - 1 on the young season.

The thing that may save them is that they are playing in a more surprisingly weaker AFC West. Let's see what happens moving forward.

Unbelievable Guitar Work - Bohemian Rhapsody

A friend of mine came across this on YouTube. Edgar Cruz is a guitar player out of Oklahoma who has a talent for taking the sound of an entire song and bringing it down onto a guitar.

In this clip, he does Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen and gives a lesson on how it's done as well. Beautifully done.



Here's another of him doing Dream On by Aerosmith. A few dropped notes here and there, but still pretty damn good.

Papa's Got a Brand New Bag!!

It's been a very long week. Multiple interviews, lots of phone calls and one big payoff!

While I was in one interview late this afternoon, my wife got a call at home from another outfit saying that they had just e-mailed me an offer!!!

Hot damn. I rushed home to check my e-mail (probably the ONLY time I've wished that I had a fucking crackberry with me!!) and scope out the offer.

Open it up and the $$ are right (a little below the last place, but livable), decent benefits and a start date of Wednesday the 26th!

Shot an e-mail right back accepting the position.

The wife is happy, the oldest child is happy, and I'm definitely happy. Hell - I even called my mom back east because I know that she's been worried. My dad's been telling her over the past 2 months not to worry - "he's got the education, he's got the experience, he's got the work ethic - he'll be fine".

(I have my parents to thank for the education and work ethic - wonderful examples and I hope I am only half as effective with my kids as they were with me and my sister).

That's a load off my back and I grabbed a 12-pack and celebrated with a couple of beers.

I think I'll go watch a ballgame and have another beer.

Another Good Interview

Had an interview this afternoon and they've already invited me back for a 2nd interview as well as for my references.

Hopes not up, but this one seems like a good fit also (much like the last one that I thought I had nailed about a month ago).

Casual environment, down to earth people and a little more mature than the last place I worked. It's a technology organization so they appreciate their IT/support people.

I'm cautiously optimistic. Meeting with the VP of Support on Thursday - fingers crossed!

Living on the Edge

Week 2 of the NFL season. Play looked a little better than week 1 for the most part from what I was able to see on TV, but looking at the home-town Broncos, I'm still not convinced this is a championship caliber team.

Last week's last second victory was non-impressive in that they seemed to be a little frazzled at the end of regulation, barely getting the snap off with 1 second left. But if you listen to the home-town media, it was a great win, all part of the plan. Never mind the defense looked a bit choppy - especially in the middle.

Today, they need overtime and a missed field goal opportunity from the Oakland kicker to give Jason Elam another chance at heroics.

I wasn't impressed - especially since they weren't able to hold a 17 point lead in the 2nd half. I'm sure the homies will all consider it a great win, regardless.

In a way, they're right. Better to have a 2 - 0 record than be 0 - 2. It doesn't have to be pretty, as long as it's a "W".

The Thrill of Victory

Game 2 of my 12 year old's soccer season... the past 2 seasons have been painful - close games, winable games, but nothing to show for it for the kids. They play their hearts out but would always seem to come up just short...

Today - different. There was something about them in this game (and last week's also) that gave me and the other coach a good feeling. The "attitude" was there. They were loose, but ready to play (well most of them anyway).

After going down 0 - 1 they came back and scored two goals in the 2nd half to win the game 2 - 1. The score wasn't important, but it was the way they won it. Last second work, deep in the other team's defensive zone. One pass, two passes, shot - GOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAALLLLLLLL!!!

When I looked at my watch - 3 seconds left. The referee let the other team touch the ball at the kickoff and blew the game down.

The girls had done it. It took a lot of work on their side, but now they see that it is all worth it and I'm sure they'll still be talking about it on Monday at practice.

This should be the start of a good, upward spiral for a bunch of talented kids who just needed that taste of victory.

The Psychology of Pain

There's a parallel between physical pain and emotional pain.

My physical pain is less than that of others with serious issues (auto accident injuries, cancer patients, etc) - mine for the most part is even self-inflicted in some cases. Not because I go out and hurt myself on purpose, but because of the sports activities I take on weekly...

Last night for example - softball game at 9:00 and indoor soccer game at 11:15 (yes - PM!)...

Nursing a bum shoulder, worsening knees and stiff and contorted fingers from multiple injuries over the past 30+ years of playing various sports, I've been asked why I continue to put my body through this.

Simple answer is that I still enjoy it... when you're playing, there is no pain and you're having fun. You play to win - that's what I was taught at an early age. You don't have to be the best athlete on the field, but you have to give 100% and execute. If you do the little things right, you can win.

Last night's soccer game was a struggle for me because my fitness level isn't where it needs to be. We played a better team; faster, stronger, fitter; and we got beat (badly). Every shift I played, I tried to stay just 30 seconds longer, always moving, always trying to contribute. Wound up assisting on a goal so I guess it was OK. That's where you cross the mental/physical line. You start arguing with your body to push more - "get there faster you bastard!" "Block that shot dumb-ass".

Paying for it this morning though. Stiff knees, shoulder sore, limping badly. But it's only temporary. No pain killers, not even aspirin. Work through it. It hurts, but it's not debilitating. It hurts, but I can function. It hurts and it helps me focus on other things.

It's been said that pain is weakness leaving the body. If you have some pain, there's an injury somewhere and that part of your body is weak - work to strengthen it.

The same can be said of the mind - pain, hurt - dig down and figure out what and why. You may have to remove something (or someone) from your life to fix it, to get stronger. In the end, you'll be happier.

Take care of the pain - listen to it, but don't let it run (or ruin) your life. Surround yourself with people who love you and can help (physically and mentally).

People who suffer alone, suffer greatly. People who suffer together share the burden and can help lessen the pain for each other.

The Mail ...

Daily ritual - get the mail... not that I look forward to the deluge of junk mail (even with opting out of credit card solicitations, I still average 3 or 4 a week) and bills, but today was different for some reason.

Go across the street, open the cluster box and grab a stack of "stuff", come back to the house and start sorting... junk, junk, bill, junk, (hmmm - this is a good day - only one bill so far)

Then...

Something that I took as somewhat a personal message in a spiritual sort of way. I won't say exactly what it was, but I can tell you that I think it was sent to me for a reason and I'm going to try to channel that energy and maybe relearn something that was taught to me many, many years ago.

I'll close by thanking God for my family and my health... all else in due time.

Too Much Going On...

Hard to concentrate... too many irons in the fire... The bastards are coming at me from every direction! Like the opening scene in Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas (Johnny Depp did a great job with that film).

Tomorrow I fix the flat tire on my bike and pedal somewhere... don't know where, but I'll just go.

Need to decompress more...

Job search, bills, phone calls, job search, e-mails, job search, writing, job search, (can you see where this is going?)

Anyway, tomorrow I will take off, relax, take a ride and get refreshed before playing softball and soccer tomorrow night. If nothing else, I'm trying to stay active.

9/11 - Never Forget

I know I can't...

Growing up in the shadows of those 2 buildings on the other side of the Hudson made that day 6 years ago that much more chilling.

Knowing that my college roommate worked in one of those towers made it that much more frightning. (He had changed jobs 2 months before and wasn't there thank goodness)

Knowing my friend had been in Boston just a week before was more than I could take...

Having to explain what happened to a bunch of 13 year olds on my soccer team who had been very close to another tragedy just 2 years earlier (Columbine) was un-nerving. These kids had seen 2 tragedies of unbelievable proportion in just 2 years and at such an early age and no one should even see just one like that! One of the kids was directly impacted because she knew the child of one of the pilots. All we did was talk for 90 minutes - no one could think about soccer. We were there for each other.

So many lives were touched and changed on that morning in NYC - people just don't realize how many...

The first time I went back east and drove north on the NJ Turnpike and didn't see the towers made me cry. I expected not to see them, but I didn't think I'd react that way. To see that big empty space in the skyline was too much.

Shortly after the tragedy, the Bergen Record offered the now-famous picture of the firefighters raising the flag at Ground Zero taken by Thomas E. Franklin for donations - naturally, I send my check and have that picture hanging in my home office. I will eventually get another to hang in my office after I get a new job. They are available for sale at allposters.com

That picture is a reminder to me and my way of never forgetting.

Don't you forget either.

Fluff - They'll Miss You When You're Gone

Trust me... now that you and I are both out of there, they are in some trouble. They just don't know it yet... Pig-fuckers that they are, they're in denial! The bastards let so many good ones go and it will cost them that much more to keep new people coming in. They're idiots!!!

Pretty soon they'll be approaching 100% turnover in the group but it's the wrong part of the group! Management (aka - Greed-Heads as Hunter S. Thomson would call them) should suffer (and I hope that they are) but the axe won't fall on them - oh no... they should all be brought out to the parking lot and castrated with dull, rusty butter knives and have rusty railroad spikes laid into their temples with huge pile-drivers!!

Keep your head up, keep writing and keep in touch! There's still so much better out there!!!

They Call This FOOTBALL?!?!?

Time for a little babble about week 1 of the NFL season - or should I say "WEAK" 1???

Denver is such a football-mad town, it's unbelievable. When I first moved to the area 15 years ago I couldn't believe how they would lead off the evening newscasts... hell - even in the off-season they'll lead off if something is happening (like someone tripped over his friggin' dog walking down the stairs like Brian Griese did when he was with the team)...

Anyway, the games I watched over the weekend were sloppy, mistake-riddled and just plain sad. Everyone (or most everyone) in this area is happy that the Broncos won, but they should be GREATFUL because they stunk up the place in Buffalo. They sucked - plain and simple. Offense, defense and special teams were all horriffic and the only reason they came away with the win is because Elam was able to hit that last second field goal (after missing 2 others in the game).

Other games I saw were equally awful. Giants/Dallas? Please... The NFC East used to be such a powerhouse but now they're as mediocre as the rest of the league.

No wonder the owners push (read that as hijack) the season ticket holders into buying the pre-season tix as part of the package each season now...

NFL football is going downhill and that's a shame... let's hope that Weak 2 is a little bit better.

The Crumbling Empire?

Got a call this morning from one of the people who used to work for me... she was calling to say that she has resigned and will be starting a new job in the near future.

By my count there are 5 (out of 12) openings in the group I used to have and at least 7 others in the entire department that used to have 100+ headcount.

That's over 10% understaffed with a 41% understaffing in my old group... and the department was understaffed to begin with...

Seems like the empire is crumbling a bit. It's unfortunate too, but I'm not surprised.

When the resignation was given, my guess is that my former boss was happy on the inside but is shitting his pants as well. He wasn't fond of this person and was very open about it with certain individuals. But inside I know that he's thinking that he's lost another warm body - oh shit - another person gone, more overtime, what's happening???? He needs those warm bodies now. Who the hell is going to answer the phones? Since the company doesn't like paying OT, there's some big shit gonna hit the fan here pretty soon...

These people aren't leaving because I left - no - they are leaving because they are over-worked, under paid and under a hell of a lot of stress trying to live up to the unachievable goals set for them. Again - unfortunate. Signs were there that the goals were unachievable, but were ignored. Gotta push ahead and deliver the undeliverable... Yeah - right. At who's expense?

The saddest thing is that the upper management that is trying to run the company will see little to no repercussions mainly because they will just replace the previously under paid (yet talented) people who left with equally under paid "warm bodies".

The exit interviews are all the same - "the company is broken, the department is broken and upper management doesn't give a rats ass..."

The spiral continues... and it's about to hit critical mass because a lot of the knowledge that is walking out the door does so without anything documented behind them.

If a couple more key people leave then there's a major implosion about to take place - there won't be enough people to man the phones and train all the new suckers - I mean employees - who walk into the slaughterhouse.

As for me - meeting with a number of recruiters next week and have contacted a number of companies this week... the search continues for a company that really cares. One of these recruiters is actually trying to find my replacement... Now THAT should be an interesting conversation!!!

NJ Officials in Corruption Sting

So 11 public officials and one private citizen were arrested new NJ on corruption charges today.

See article in Bergen Record for details.

Surprised?

Shouldn't be... the state's riddled with corruption. Why the hell would there be any other reason for people paying $14000/year in property taxes? Shit - you can't tell me these people are getting that much in services and that it costs that much to haul the frigging trash!

Somebody's getting paid off and someone's getting screwed - guess which is which.

Did He Really Say What I Think He Said?!?!?

Watching PBS this afternoon (Lou Dobbs, business report) and he was talking about Mexican President Calderon's weekend comments that essentially encouraged illegal immigration and sloughed off any responsibility or accountability for what's happening in his own country - the one that HE was elected President of in order to help fix things...

I almost fell out of my chair when I heard the comments and I agreed with Lou Dobbs on his response - Fix your stuff Calderon and we'll gladly accept LEGAL immigrants from your country; those that want to contribute to our economy in the correct sense - pay their taxes, work the jobs, and NOT sponge off the rest of the American taxpayers and the liberal scum in office who want to GIVE away our money to support them and their kids with our healthcare and school systems.

Lots of chatter on this one.

Check out wakeupamericans

Can You Live a Fantasy Life?

(Anyone remember that old Aldo Nova song?!?!)

Fantasy football is back... my 2nd season playing and we went through the draft on Sunday...

Could have been better - got stuck with the 10th pick overall (out of a 12 player league) and all the best running backs and some of the QBs went before my first pick...

Such is life...

As we were going through the draft, there was a lot of chatting going on with the people I used to work with (those that are left anyway)... people wondering if I've landed anywhere yet, wondering what the hell's happening over there and why they're still hanging on...

For some of them, I just don't know why they are still there - the hours suck, management sucks, the pay isn't that great... when I land somewhere, I will certainly be keeping these people in mind as I hear of other positions open ...

It's the least I could do for them...

Some of these people would even make my "dream team" of people to work with - maybe not the most technically sound in the world, but some big hearts and sincere people who work hard...

Where the Fluff is Fluff??

So Fluff?

Where you going? When's the last day?

What's the plan?

Be sure to keep in touch!

Why Do People...

have to insist on rubbing shit in your face when you're down?

Why can't you just sit back, shut up and listen every now and then without turning the subject back to yourself?

In my situation do you really give a rat's ass if you were able to go to the game on Thursday night? Hell - I haven't bought myself a beer in over a month! Don't get me wrong, I want you to be happy, but it seems that whenever I need to talk and vent, the subject always switches back to you...

And then YOU get pissed at me when I try to tell you that I called someone that did listen??

I know - we're both going through a tough time again right now. It's harder since we can't see each other and the phone calls just don't cut it anymore... we both need a hug (from each other) and we both need to step back and remember why we're friends.

I do love you ... never forget that...

Are People THAT Blind???

With all the turmoil and upheval at the outfit I used to work at, you have to wonder why people at the top who are looking down don't see it for what it is... there is a major leadership problem in that organization and the problems flow from the top down.

Not once did the VP of our group ever come down to talk to anyone in my group. Hell, even the Director barely spoke with anyone in the group (including me). Pretty sad if you ask me.

Now there are a number of openings and people are still leaving - like rats off a sinking ship...

Shit - if people in high places had just opened their eyes a few months ago, things might not be so bad now.

My friend who had my position ahead of me let me know that she is also leaving now... all I can say is GOOD FOR HER!!! She deserves better after all the bullshit she's put up with (no support, no direction, no feedback, etc, etc, etc).

Dropping Like Flies

Got a call tonight from one of my former employees saying that she's sent out some resumes and that I might get a call regarding a reference... well OF COURSE I'll be a reference for any of the people who were there and trying to get out now...

I've heard it's worse there now than ever... more work with even less people. Not a good situation and I can't blame everyone in that group (and others) for wanting to get out.

Sad thing is that the HR person I did my exit interview with has also left and I bet the notes she took regarding my comments never got too far past her (unless the director of that group took them up the line - who knows)...

My search continues and I'm trying to be patient... we'll see what happens next

Update after this was originally posted - Found out just a few minutes ago that yet another key person in the department has given her notice and will be leaving in less than 2 weeks. Oh my goodness!!!!

The Things We Do for Fun...

Everyone has vices... I don't care who you are - everyone has them... booze, drugs, women, fast cars, motorcycles, all of the above... We all have them because it's what helps to define us as individuals and they help us get pleasure out of life...

One of my vices is sport... almost any kind, but in particular soccer.

Growing up on the east coast, I was introduced to soccer late in life (age 13 as a freshman in high school). This is because there were no youth leagues in my town until I was much older (almost 18).

I picked up the game because I wasn't fond of the HS baseball coach and I was big on hockey.. I figured soccer was nothing more than hockey on a bigger field using a ball and you couldn't use your hands... pretty simple (or so I thought)...

I took to the game fairly well although I'm no David Beckham. On Thursday nights I play in an over 30 mens indoor league that can get pretty rough... last week we had one of our team members go down with a torn ACL...

Me, personally, I've broken multiple fingers and dislocated my thumb (tearing the ligaments) along with separating my left shoulder 3 times and busting a couple toes here and there. That's just soccer...

Playing baseball, football, soccer, hockey, lacrosse, softball and others both competetively and recreationally since I was 5 years old, I've had plenty of time to accumulate quite a thick medical folder.

My 12 year old daughter is still amazed when she sees the men play soccer or her old man play shortstop for the softball team ... she can't quite seem to grasp why dad still thinks these things are fun as he limps around the house on Friday and other days of the week...

I would love to play into my 60s - especially since I've seen a 70+ year old soccer player playing in the advanced outdoor league I play in on Sundays...

Whatever the vice - continue as long as you can if it brings you pleasure and doesn't hurt anyone around you...

Keep kicking!

Ready for the Next Disaster?

Read a good post on the importance of disaster recovery/business continuity planning at the HelpDeskNotes.com web site today.



It's scary how many businesses are screwing with the people who work for them by not having a solid plan in place. 9/11, Hurricate Katrina and the latest Hurricane Dean... What's it take to make some executives WAKE UP!!! The outfit I used to work for doesn't have a plan. God forbid the data center burns - people will lose their jobs very quickly and the busines could go under. I'm glad to be out of there for that reason.

Extend the thought from business to personal life... how many people are really prepared for something like I'm going through right now? No job, specialty field (HelpDesk/Support Management).

Granted it was my choice (sort of) to leave, but you've got to be prepared for the possibility.

Much like a hard drive crash - it's not IF, it's WHEN.

One Door Closes....

Got word late this afternoon that the position I had interviewed for and thought I was a really good fit for was filled from within the organization... Oh well... at least I know now.

That door is closed and I can move on mentally now.

Had another interview this morning with an outfit that seems interesting, but there might be a little more travel than I may like... let's see what happens with this one... their timeframe is 2 weeks (plus or minus) to fill the position so hopefully I make the 2nd cut.

As a good friend and former boss of mine says - "just gotta press..."

So with that, it's time to press on...

Need to Vent?

Got a beef? Need to get something off your chest?

I ran into this site this evening... Research project on that nature of hate. Have at it...

http://1millionthingsihate.blogspot.com/

Deflated...

Feeling beaten today... no word from the outfit that I interviewed with last week.

Damn, and it seemed like a good fit. I left a voicemail for the recruiter so that I can at least find out if I'm still in the running or if they've made an offer to someone else. At least then I can move on.

I know that I should move on and not worry too much about it, but emotionally, it's hard.

I've sent 20 e-mails and made about 5 phone calls today alone, so hopefully something else will present itself before too long.

I have an interview with another outfit tomorrow morning also.

Until then, still looking.

Baseball and Life...

To some (ok - many) baseball is life.

Unfortunately, most of the people who may believe this are office jockeys/cubicle tenents that are living their lives through their fantasy baseball teams. Don't get me wrong, I'm a fantasy baseball player (1st season) but spend less than 1 hour a week dealing with it... there are too many other things to do at this stage of my life.

The only ones that have the "right" to think that baseball is life are the kids. 5 - 13 year olds in particular playing in all the various Little League and other rec leagues in the world.

Just tune in to ESPN, ESPN2 and ABC over the next week and watch some of these kids playing in the Little League World Series in PA. Passion, desire, blood, sweat, tears, smiles. It's all there... these kids are giving all they got for the love of the game.

No million $$ contracts, no endorsement deals - just the game.

Sure, now almost all the games are on national TV and these kids are beating some of the pros in the highlight reals on ESPN Sports Center but it's only because of the purity of the game (and the fact that these kids are damn good athletes). Example - http://youtube.com/watch?v=cgsv6CBZ5sc




Certainly the fact is that the majority of these kids will never make the major leagues, but there are plenty of examples of those that did, and because of their experience in the Little League that they are giving back to the organization.

I remember my days in Little League baseball, very fondly. Never had the chance to do what these kids are doing on national TV, but was thrilled the year we got to play under the lights in a championship game. For that night, we were pros. For the kids in PA, they are experiencing something that will never be taken from them - even beyond the baseball.

The Quiet of a Thunderstorm

Today we had a pretty good storm rip through. Good to be able to turn off the sprinkler system and save some water for a change.

What I enjoyed most of all though was watching the storm come out of the west, over the foothills and into the area.

Intense cloud-to-ground and cloud-to-cloud lightning, the rumble of thunder - first in the distance, then directly over top of the house and then again, in the distance. Like a train bearing down with the whistle sounding.

Staring out the sliding glass door, looking to the west, you couldn't help but be in awe of the show - the stark power display of the lightning.

Reminded me a lot about watching the storms in North Carolina 25 years ago. See http://dawgsof557.blogspot.com/2007/08/lightning-storms-and-shrimp-boats.html

20 minutes of that is a wonderful thing for quieting the mind.

Where We Came From...

A few years ago, my daughter did a school project that got us looking for information on where my grandfather came from originally.

Part of her project was to interview her grandfather (my dad) and ask him questions about the family, etc.

In our research and through the interview with my dad, we came across the Ellis Island website (http://www.ellisisland.org) and on that site there is a search function that lets you search based on name and arrival date. It so happened that we knew the year my grandfather arrived and we were able to view the actual ship's manifest, see his original arrival record and even see a picture of the ship that he arrived on.

In looking closer at the manifest, it looks like he arrived in the states with $9.75 in his pocket. Amazing to me...

The man was truly amazing to me... he comes to the states without knowing how to speak the language, moved to the west coast, did manual labor most of his life, fought and was wounded in WWI, moved back to the east coast where he raised his family and then lived a wonderful full life when he passed away at the age of 96.

I encourage anyone who had relatives arriving through Ellis Island to visit the site and reflect.

Farewell to Phil Rizzuto

Phil Rizzuto was legendary when I was growing up in NJ. Nothing more can be said about him.

He was an unbelievable ball player for the Yankess in the 40's and early 50's and carried the Yankee mystique into the broadcast booth for 40 more years.

Seeing all the footage on ESPN last night and this afternoon brought back a lot of memories - summer days in the yard listening to games on the radio with my dad and friends, watching games on WPIX (Channel 11 in NY) and listening to Rizzuto call the game.

He was so amazing that even if you were in a different room of the house, you could just listen to him and get the picture of what was going on out on the field.

There can never be another play-by-play man like Scooter.

For more, see the NY Daily News site. http://www.nydailynews.com/sports/baseball/yankees/2007/08/15/2007-08-15_memories_of_scooter.html

Anxiousness Sets In

Wednesday... getting antsy about getting "the call"...

Hoping that it will be today or tomorrow at the latest that I hear from the organization that I interviewed with earlier in the week.

In the meantime, keeping busy with taking care of some things around the house, paying some bills and will take a quick ride on the motorcycle in a few minutes so I can focus on other things.

Fingers still crossed!!!

Confidence...

It's building...

Had an interview today and it felt like I nailed it. The people I spoke with were nice, approachable and honest about what was happening in the organization.

I believe I am one of 3 people in the running for this position and it felt very good. Only thing that scares me is that one of the people interviewing me was doing it from home so I couldn't see any body language. The one in the office with me was very relaxed and it seemed more like a conversation than an interview.

Then when I got home I found out that a 2nd outfit had called me while I was out - presumably to schedule an interview. At the very least, people are wanting to talk to me!

The VP of the organization I spoke with today said that they are looking to make a decision this week. Tomorrow I will be sure to put the thank you notes in the mail. Who knows - maybe that will be what puts me over the top of any other candidate.

Fingers crossed but not getting hopes up (just in case)...

Jimmy Page Still Got It!!

A buddy of mine send me to this link on YouTube to see a clip of Jimmy Page working on stage with the Black Crowes.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oyK_SnQiXDM

Page is still real smooth and in the clip is playing a Gibson Les Paul... wonderful axe!!!

Sometimes I Just Don't Understand...

Sometimes I just can't (won't/don't want to) understand how and why things happen.

Case in point -

I touch base with one of my former employees at retail-hell today and she lets me know that one of the best people on the HelpDesk was "suddenly let go" yesterday for "some reason"... only thing I can figure is that the guy didn't pass a mandatory drug screen after agreeing to come on board full time shortly before I left.

The other possibility is the background check that is run.

Sometimes things just aren't meant to be clear and that's a shame. Just goes to show that there are many reasons to keep your nose clean when dealing with the corporate world.

Be safe...

August? - Rockies? - Contention?!?!?

OK - it's August, usually the time of the year when Broncos fans are chomping at the bit to get the football season underway. (As someone who grew up in NJ suffering with the Giants for a long time, it took me a long while to get used to the Broncos being the lead story on the nightly news in the off-season!).

But what's this?

Baseball is still being spoken in the Mile-High City? IN AUGUST?!?!? There's gotta be something wrong with this? No?!?!? Really???

What gives?!?! The Rockies were only 4 games out of first in the NL-West as of this morning and they put a 19 - 4 thrashing on the BrewCrew today at home. Nicely done Tulowitzki - 17 points for my fantasy team today alone after going 4 - 5 with 2 doubles and an HR.

Finally, it seems the team has some chemistry - now if only the GM will leave things alone as best as possible in the off-season, then maybe next year it could be a very fun year of baseball in the Rocky Mountains!

Sure beats the hell out of having to turn the paper upside-down just to see your team in first place!!

http://www.coloradorockies.com/

The Power of Invention and the Mind

Looking at the paper today and the Rocky Mountain News did a small story on Les Paul - inventor of the electric guitar (among other things).

The man is 92 years old and still making music and inventing things!!

I remember seeing him when he was 77 years old at a small jazz club in NYC called "Fat Tuesday's". The man is a genius!

Not only did he develop the first electric guitar, but also multi-track recording and vinyl records! Without the man, the music industry wouldn't be what it is today. The world is a much better place because of him.

To read the article - http://www.rockymountainnews.com/drmn/music/article/0,2792,DRMN_54_5661584,00.html

Les Paul Website - http://www.lespaulonline.com/

Rain

Finally some rain to help with the dry conditions of late. Much needed and well received by me. My daughter on the other hand would much rather be at the pool ... oh well...

Would love to see a bit of an electrical storm and sit out on the deck watching it over the foothills. Might be a bit dicy though because with things so dry, we don't need any wildfires nearby.

South Dakota on My Mind...

No - not because of Sturgis either... I love motorcycles, but I'm more of a speed-type guy, not a cruiser/dresser type. I'd rather be on the track than anything else.

I do have a very good friend of mine that lives in SD though and I would love to see her again. There's history and sometimes you can't help but think what could have been, but honestly, I don't think it could have worked out.

I haven't seen her in about 17 years but we do talk on the phone. She's not a letter writer and doesn't have a computer so there's no e-mail flowing. I write to her just to make sure she knows I'm still around and thinking of her.

Anyway, when things get rough for me, she's usually one of the first people I want to talk to because even after so long, she can make me feel wonderful. Just by hearing her voice and knowing that she's OK and happy with what she's doing makes me feel good... When she left NJ for SD so many years ago, I knew it was the right thing for her to do yet it still hurt so much. We loved each other and still do, but there are just some things that can never be.

I remember one phone call about 6 years ago to her and she sensed something wasn't right. 2 days later, I had a letter from her telling me that she missed me and could still tell in my voice that something was wrong and she reassured me that everything would be OK and she's always with me, even from the distance. I still have that letter and won't let it go...

She's told me that she comes to Colorado every so often and just hasn't had the guts to call me when she's here... I think we're both afraid of the same things - but damn it, I would love to have her call and say that she's 20 minutes away and she wants to just meet for lunch. I'd be on the bike so damn fast that she wouldn't have had time to hang up the phone before I got there!

One hug, one more look in her eyes, one more smile and laugh...
Just one more time, but...

So Much to Make Up For...

So many thoughts... so many things I want to say...

Only one thing comes to mind though - that no matter how much I try, I'll never be able to make up the time I missed with my kids over the last 18 months working for that sweatshop...

So instead, I make the most of the time I am spending with them now as I start on the new job search...

Yesterday took the little one to the pool and watched in amazement as he damn near took off on his own swimming 1/2 the length of the pool. Spent time helping at my daughter's softball practice also and just watching as she interacts with her friends...

All in all, I'd say the kids are doing quite well and I don't have much to worry about on that front.

Worried about my friend at a past job though because she's going through a tough time. Left messages but just haven't been able to hook up with her yet. In due time...

Friendship and Loyalty

A boss at one of my old companies couldn't understand a friendship I had with someone there. Didn't understand why/how we could lean on each other in the toughest of times and hung out together.

He just didn't get it until one day about 3 years ago when I got a call from a friend in NJ. Our buddy Bill's dad passed away and Andy called me to ask if I still lived in NJ if I would make the drive to North Carolina for the funeral. My first question for Andy was what time he wanted to pick me up at my parents house. As we talked, I booked a flight for the next day to fly to NJ and the plan was to take a nap after I got to my parent's house and Andy to pick me up so we could drive together to NC for the service. For me it would be about 5000 miles in 2.5 days...

I walked into his office the next day, told him I was leaving for the airport at noon and would be back in a couple days. He asked what was going on and I told him. Told my other friend at work too because from all the stories she heard, she felt like she knew Bill and Andy as well.

Me, Bill and Andy are like brothers. I've known Andy since kindergarden and Bill since 7th grade. 30+ years... to me it was a no-brainer that I would do this - for Bill, for Andy, for Bill's mom and sister and for me as well. You don't grow up with someone like that and not get attached to the family, so it was natural.

While I was in NC, something blew up at work with my other friend and when I got back, I went off on someone because of it.

A few days later, my boss pulled me aside and proceded to tell me that he "finally understood what value I place in friendships..."

Unfortunately, all I could think to myself is "DUH! That's what it's all about..."

It's a shame that some people just don't understand what friendship is... being there...

I Don't Like When My Friends Hurt

Mood was soured later in the afternoon after I e-mailed someone I worked with and helped mentor. She's a good friend and we'd talk in the morning on our drives in to work. She was hurt when I left that outfit 18 months ago, but it had to be done because I was getting in her way...

Unfortunately, her boss (someone I reported to at that same company) is taking her for granted and she got thrown under the bus by someone and he said that he "heard things" and brought my name up again... There's history, but too much to go into here...

She's hurt and pissed off and I can't blame her because he was way out of line with what he said. It even pissed me off.

She said she's going to actively look for a new job now but somehow I don't quite think she's ready. I did give her some contact names today so she can get started so we'll see if she really does or not.

I'd like nothing more than to grab her, hug her, and tell her it'll be OK. I know it will, but I'm tired of her putting herself back into situations where she could get hurt. Maybe this is the slap in the face she needed. She knows I love her and trusts my opinions but she's always been her own person (unbelievably strong) and will get through it eventually.

It will all get better.. I know it will.

Now It Begins...

Interviewed today for a position... bit of a drive, but seems like a decent outfit.

The interview process (at least for round 1) was strange... HR and 2 techies in the room with me... answered HR type questions then answered some questions for the technical crew... didn't know the answers to all of them, but admitted it up front... I think they appreciated the honesty and some of the answers I had for them.

Next was a small technical "test".. not pass/fail, but was something for them to gauge my technical abilities, etc. I think I actually did pretty good with that part of it too...

Got home, had lunch and shot off a thank you letter to the person who coordinated the meeting.

Fingers crossed...

The New Chapter 1

So tomorrow is my first day of not going to work... I know I've said that I would take time off and relax - kind of like a vacation, but that's going to be hard I know. Hard for me, my wife and the kids...

I don't want them getting used to me being around during the day and want to find something new relatively quickly so that I don't drive myself nuts too.

I do actually have an interview tomorrow and feel that I'm well prepared for it. I'll go in, sell myself and hopefully get an offer near what I had been making. If not, we press on...

Over the weekend it was wonderful... no blackberry ringing constantly, enjoyed a ballgame (almost) uninterrupted and spent some real good time with the kids... Taking it in for now and will start up at the gym again on Tuesday so that I can get back into the routine. Could stand to lose a few pounds anyway.

Have a great week!

The Last Day

Last day at work today... it wasn't as hard as I thought it would be, yet it was harder in some respects.

Caught myself a couple of times talking to different people getting misted up... I'm an emotional person anyway and saying goodbye to people isn't a pleasant thing no matter what the circumstances...

In some cases I felt like I was abandoning some and leaving others to die... shit.

Dealt with HR, a final staff meeting and making "the rounds".

The staff meeting was probably the toughest and I reminded the group that was there that they are a good crew and they need to press on because if they didn't I was gonna come back and kick their asses... at least that got them laughing.

In the end, I think I did what I had hoped and that was to leave quietly, with dignity and leaving behind a couple of potetial "fires" to burn carefully selected bridges... the world is too small to burn a lot of bridges - makes for a lonely existence - so you just need to be very selective...

Every ending is another beginning - so time to start with chapter 1... but afterI take some inventory and spend some time with the kids... With that, I leave you so I can go be with my youngest.

Peace, love and whatever else floats your boat!

Out!

The HelpDesk Turnip

Last week at work... rough start to the week because of a bunch of problems caused by AT&T nationwide. Network crap. Oh well - some things are just out of your control.

One of my co-workers and I came up with an idea that I should leave a big, ol' turnip on my desk when I leave.

Why?

So that people can be reminded that whoever takes over my position will have to squeeze BLOOD out of the damn thing!!!

Good luck to whoever that is...

This is Gonna Be a Good Day

Little things mean a lot... Today with the wife and daughter off on a Girl Scout weekend trip, it's just me an my son.

Saturday morning cartoons, baseball, a game of catch and a trip to the pool today. I haven't looked forward to a weekend in a long time and this is definitely something that's welcome. Little worry about work - only 1 week left before I leave - and no real concerns here other than trying to figure out what we're going to do for dinner tonight.

Later I plan on giving a friend of mine a call - someone who I haven't talked to in a while. She'll be surprised to hear from me and I'm looking forward to catching up a bit. A lot has happened in both our lives since we both left our native NJ quite some time ago. I'm nervous about calling though. She usually had that effect on me.

Time to go throw some batting practice for my son. Damn - this is gonna be a good day.

National Ride to Work Day

Today was national Ride to Work Day. Similar to Bike to Work Day, this day promoted alternate transportation - specifically motorcycles. Seemed to me like a good turnout as there were plenty of bikes on the ride to and from work today. The 3rd Wednesday in July is designated for this day.

Ride home was a little dicy with 40 - 50 mph winds most of the way, but it was still a damn good day to ride.

Interested in learning a little more about it? Visit http://www.ridetowork.org/

I Love My Friends!

Each morning I get the pleasure of talking to a very dear friend of mine on my ride in to work. She calls me just to chat and it makes the time go quick during our commutes.

Sometimes we talk about work (a lot lately given my situation) and sometimes we talk about "stuff".

I love her dearly and miss her since we don't see each other since I left the company we used to work for together. We grew very close and have helped each other through a few tough times, both professionally and personally.

Everyone should be blessed to have a friend like that. I know I sure am.

How Bad Is It? ... Really

I was going through some notes from a conference I was at back in May. One of the speakers was Alan Hobson. The only word to describe his keynote is WOW!

How many times have we thought we were getting a raw deal? How many times have we thought "why is this happening to me?".

Here's part of Mr. Hobson's "resume":

Mt. Everest - almost
Mt. Everest - almost #2
Cancer diagnosis
Cancer survivor
Cancer ass-kicker
Mt. Everest - SUCCESS!

Mr Hobson spoke about his experience of not once, but twice being stopped by circumstances as he closed in on the summit of Everest, his bout with cancer of the blood and then conquering not only the cancer and Everest, but also how he is pioneering new ideas about the treatment of cancer through physical activity and fitness.

The man had biceps that were the envy of every guy in the room - some of which were obviously lifting to keep fit. He had an air of confidence that rivaled the expanse of Everest itself. I don't think there was a dry eye in the room of about 2000 people when he was talking to us about "failure". He was all about turning a missed opportunity into something more and then doing something about it.

Truly inspiring to see his story. He talked about his training for his third ascent of Everest and had a picture of himself on a treadmill - he didn't weigh more than 150 pounds and he had this picture of him working on this treadmill with what had to be at least an 80 pound pack at the steepest incline possible. He said that with each pair of steps he'd take, he would repeat the same two words, over and over - CAN - WILL; CAN - WILL...

I certainly don't do it justice here, but he was an amazing person to see and hear. If anyone has the chance to see him, enjoy - if you can't, look for his book called From Everest to Enlightenment

I haven't read it yet myself, but plan to this summer. If anyone's read it already, please share what you thought. Also, check out his web site http://www.climbback.com

And as I found out today on his web site, his encore is planned. How can you top all he's done so far? How about a return to Everest?!?! See the link below for details:

http://www.climbback.com/assets/pdf/EverestRocksFastFacts.pdf

Next time you think you might be having a bad day, think about Alan Hobson who probably had more bad days than most people who will read this post combined (and then some).

How bad is it? - REALLY

Happy Sunday...

Got on the motorcycle for a bit today... rode to nowhere in particular but did have to stop at work to let my Sunday crew know about my "resignation".

They weren't happy but were supportive. It's a good crew overall and it'll be tough to leave, but it's the right thing to do.

While riding, was just taking in some of the scenery - landscapes on houses, clouds in the distance and the foothills to the west. If you don't ride, it's worth learning just to experience it in the open instead of in a "cage".

Need to ride more.

Serenity...

Quiet day. Not much going on.

Taking it all in and relaxing. Blood pressure is good and things are calm...

Turning out to be a very good weekend so far. Tomorrow will be rougher though because of what I have to do at work. Anyway - I'll enjoy it while I can.

Off to go do some reading and to relax some more.

The DAWGS Arrive

The litter is born... sort of...

Last night I started writing about my youth - the good times had at a part-time job held by many at an east coast supermarket affectionately know as "The Tombs".

Check it out at http://dawgsof557.blogspot.com

2 Weeks and Counting

Announcment of my "resignation" today to 1/2 of my team. I will get the rest of the team on Sunday. Reaction ranged from shock to disbelief to anger. Couple of more leads on new positions and we'll see how it goes.

After I'm gone, I'll be able to give the team more of the "real" story - ie - how I was going to be let go anyway. My "resignation" is a way for me to save face on my way out the door.

JAs TidBit of the Day - NEVER BURN BRIDGES when leaving a company. It's a small world out there and you never know when you'll need a recommendation, reference or job lead. Always keep the doors and communication going.

Happy Friday - now where's my damn beer?!?!

Try, Try Again...

Job search update - got a rejection from one outfit today... no big deal... stung for a few minutes because I really thought I might be a good fit, but oh well.. better luck next time.

Still have about 5 or 6 possibilities and I'll work hard at working the network to see if I can get my foot in the door somewhere. I'm also going to start expanding my options by looking into some technical writing stuff as well.

Really working the LinkedIn network... if you're not on LinkedIn, I HIGHLY recommend it! You can reconnect with past friends, colleagues and friends of friends... check it out!

http://www.linkedin.com

My profile is at http://www.linkedin.com/in/jalfonso475

Ideas, Ideas, Ideas

Ideas, Ideas, Ideas....

Tonight I went to my first networking event since I'm looking for a new job. I was scared at first because I've never been in this situation before, and I'm not very comfortable at these things (naturally introverted to some degree).

It actually went pretty well - didn't get any solid leads but met some very nice people and got some ideas on where to look for a new position. It made me stretch a little bit and I felt comfortable by the time I left.

Interesting experience and I'll return next month for the next one if I have a new position or not.

Encouragement on the Blog Front

I've been doing this for just a few days (maybe 2 weeks now)... just rambling, writing, journaling and I was actually encouraged to see that there have been other visitors besides myself on the site. No comments left, but that's OK.

I'm hoping that in the next few days I can start to either standardize some content or actually come up with a theme for a new blog - not sure what I would do just yet, but we'll see.

I've been reading a lot of the "how to" type posts on different blogs and one of the best I've found so far is ProBlogger (http://www.problogger.net/archives/2006/02/14/blogging-for-beginners-2/)

Lots of advice and Darren Rowse uses some nice add-ins like StumbleUpon (http://stumbleupon.com) that can give you a lot of ideas for your own blog.

Give ProBlogger a look-see.

Good Hockey Blog Found

I'm a hockey fan.

Played since I was 5, remember that Craig McTavish of the Flyers was the last play to play in the NHL without a helmet, remember Patrick Roy's rookie season with the Canadiens and all kinds of other stuff...

When I said that I wanted to play goalie at the age of 10, my older cousin told me to be a center because keepers never get the girls... he was right to a certain degree. I never (or seldom) scored the winning goal, even when I did play center, but as a keeper, I wasn't half bad and had enough shutouts that I did get what I still think was the best looking girl that hung out with us on the team.

Found a good hockey blog and encourage people to check it out...

http://imhockeynutz.blogspot.com/

In the Rocky Mountains, the Avalanche are who everyone follows, but there are plenty of Detroit fans here. A RedWings/Avs match-up is almost as exciting, vocal (and sometimes violent) as a Broncos/Raiders game or even a Devils/Rangers game back east (I was a Devils season ticket holder for 10 years before moving to the mountains) and those were some pretty entertaining nights at the Continental Airlines arena (the hockey wasn't bad either!)

Fear and Loating on the Work Front

Retail sucks... all I can say...

Anyone looking for work fulltime in the retail arena is either impervious to pain, damn stupid or just plain sick in the freakin' head - probably all three!!!

After a year and a half, I'm ready to call it quits and it may not be my choice... it's for the better though...

$$ isn't that great, hours suck and the company I work for is just plain insane! Unless you're a hero at least one time a year, you never get recognized. If you're a back-stabbing, pig fucking SOB, you're OK, but if you try to be honest, and do a good job, you'll get screwed in the end.

Out for now - stay out of retail!

Trust Only Mom & Dad...

And even then, be careful!

Been a while since I've updated/posted. Things have been crazy at work and a lesson taught to me a long time ago growing up on the east coast near NYC came back today...

Something that was supposed to be held confidential at work was let out by someone in HR... real nice, huh? I was pretty surprised when someone working for me came in and asked me point-blank if I was leaving. "well, uh - not exactly - you see, I'm being asked to leave!"

Not exactly what I said, but let's put it this way, I want someone's head on a platter for this because I asked that if I was going to be let go that I be allowed to go with some dignity. Yeah right - serves me right for trusting a retail organization.

Anyway - I'm back and hopefully will post more faithfully from here on in. (not that anyone else but me is really reading this, but...)

ciao

It's Not the End of the World...

Last night I told my 11 year old daughter that dad might lose his job...

The first question out of her mouth was - "What will happen to us if you lose your job?"

Pretty good question from an 11 year old who has not wanted for anything in her life thanks to the blessings of steady work for me and mom (staying at home now) and wonderfully generous grandparents on all sides.

Her biggest worry? If she was going to be able to play sports... honestly that made me feel better!

It made me realize it's not the end of the world if I DO lose my job... actually it would be a blessing if I could get out of it before I did, but I think removing myself from that stress-hole would do wonders for my health and my relationship with my wife and family.

I talked to multiple recruiters today and am actively looking. Hoping something comes along soon...

More to follow

Hillarious HelpDesk Video

http://youtube.com/watch?v=pQHX-SjgQvQ

Great video for anyone in the HelpDesk industry... it'll bring a smile to your face!!!

Good day of venting

At work I got to at least get out of the office at lunch time... first time in a few weeks, it's been that crazy.

Retail sucks! That's why I want out so badly.

Network problems all the time, a boss that is frustrating as all bloody hell because he has it set that there is a silver bullet for our problems (when most of them lie in other areas). Don't get me wrong - my HelpDesk group has a LOT to improve on, but when you are essentially given plastic toy tools to build a 40000 sq.ft. mansion - it ain't gonna work!

A 90 year old man can stay up longer than our network sometimes!

HR is no help at all... It's no wonder I'm probably on the block. With a little luck I'll be able to get an interview at a friend's outfit and get back into some technical work and away from the management gig. This gig really has fried my brain and turned me off of management at this point... it's sad because I think I'm good at what I do, but apparently they just want someone/something a little bit different.

Turn around?

Could it be that things might be turning around? I actually got a call from a friend of mine who used to work for me at another company and she said the outfit she's working for is hiring. I sent the resume right off...

Who knows if it will work out... it will mean traveling, but it would get me out of management at least for a little while... maybe that's what I need - who knows...

Fingers crossed but hopes not up at this point...

So much happening all at once... not sure where to begin or where it ends...

I can still smile because my friends care... Lots are helping me out just by listening. Love them all...

What a week...

Unbelievable week.. terrible at work... feel like nothing went right. Was wishing I could turn the clock back to a better time ... then what should come along from a great friend of mine but the below:

Close your eyes...And go back...
....Before the Internet or PC or the MAC......
....Before semi-automatics and crack....
....Before Playstation, SEGA, Super Nintendo, even before Atari...
....Before cell phones, CD's, DVD's, voicemail and e-mail....
...way back....
....way.....way.....way back.....
I'm talkin' bout hide and seek at dusk Red light, Green light
Red Rover....Red Rover.....
Playing kickball & dodgeball until the first...no...second...no...third Streetlight came on
Ring around the Rosie
London Bridge
Hot potato
Hop Scotch
Jump rope
Duck....duck.....GOOSE!!! YOU'RE IT!!
Parents stood on the front porch and yelled (or whistled) for you to come home - no pagers or cell phones
Mother May I?
Hula Hoops
Seeing shapes in the clouds
Endless summer days and hot summer nights (no A/C) with the windows open
The sound of crickets
Running through the sprinkler
Cereal boxes with that GREAT prize in the bottom
Cracker jacks with the same thing
Ice pops with 2 sticks you could break and share with a friend ...but wait.....there's more.... Watchin' Saturday Morning cartoons
Fat Albert, Road Runner, Tom&Jerry, Heckle&Jeckle, Pink Panther, Richochet Rabbit, Schoolhouse Rock
Watchin' Sunday morning oldies (Abbott & Costello, Three Stooges, Tarzan, Shirley Temple OR WONDERAMA!!)
Wonder Woman & Super Man Underoos
Catchin' lightning bugs in a jar
Your first day of school
Bedtime Prayers and Goodnight Kisses
Climbing trees
Swinging as high as you could to try and reach the sky
Getting an Ice Cream off the Good Humor Truck
A million mosquito bites and sticky fingers
Jumpin' down the steps
Jumpin' on the bed
Pillow fights
Sleep-overs
A 13" black and white TV in your room meant you were RICH
Runnin' till you were out of breath
Laughing so hard that your stomach hurt
Being tired from PLAYING
WORK: meant taking out the garbage or doing the dishes
Your first crush
Your first kiss (the one that you kept your mouth CLOSED and your eyes OPEN )
Rainy days at school meant playing "Heads up 7UP" or hangman" in the classroom, remember that?

Oh, I'm not finished yet....
Kool-Aid was the drink of the summer
So was a swig from the hose
Giving your friends a ride on your handlebars
Wearing your new shoes on the first day of school
Class Field Trips with soggy sandwiches
When nearly everyone's mom was at home when the kids got there
When a quarter seemed like a fair allowance; and another quarter a MIRACLE
When ANY parent could discipline ANY kid, or feed him, or use him to carry groceries...And nobody, not even the kid, thought a thing of it.
When being sent to the principal's office was nothing compared to the fate that awaited you at home.
Basically, we were in fear for our lives but it wasn't because of drive by shootings, drugs, gangs, etc. Our parents and grandparents were a much bigger threat! And some of us are still afraid of em!
Didn't that feel good?
Just to go back and say, "Yeah, I remember that!" Well, let's keep going!!
Let's go back to the time when... Decisions were made by going "eeny-meeny-miney-mo " Mistakes were corrected by simply exclaiming, "do over!"
"Race issues" meant arguing about who ran the fastest.
Money issues were handled by whoever was the banker in "monopoly"
Catching fireflies could happily occupy an entire evening
It wasn't odd to have two or three "best" friends.
Being old, referred to anyone over 20.
The worst thing you could catch from the opposite sex was cooties.
Nobody was prettier than Mom
Scrapes and bruises were kissed by mom or grandma and made better
It was a big deal to finally be tall enough to ride the "big people" rides at the amusement park. Getting a foot of snow was a dream come true.
Abilities were discovered because of a "double-dog-dare"
Spinning around, getting dizzy and falling down was cause for giggles.
The worst embarrassment was being picked last for a team.
Water balloons were the ultimate, ultimate weapon.
Older siblings were your worst tormentors, but also your fiercest protector

If you can remember most or all of these, then you have LIVED!!! Pass this on to anyone who may need a break from their "grown up" life......I TRIPLE DOG DARE YA!!!!!!